Suddenly...A Moment of Insanity

This whole past year has been a question of whether or not I really "fit in" at Rhodes. I know a fair number of people sharing similar sentiments regarding their choices of schools...The question is, if you were to even CONSIDER transferring, would you be able to find a better place?

Honestly, I don't know. If I wanted better Musical Theatre, I could go to OCU. However, I hate the location and the school itself isn't terribly impressive. I could go to UT for the huge size, for Austin, and for a greater diversity in the student population. They don't have a musical theatre major, though, so is it really what I want?

The more I read about liberal arts education, the better I feel about that part of my decision. However, I still feel as though my experience at Rhodes is lacking in a number of ways. One of my favorite, favorite castmates in Damn Yankees (Brenna Yeary) attended Randolph Macon Woman's College (now Randolph College) and she raved to me for a good twenty minutes about her unreal experience. The student teacher ratio 9:1, and they have all these crazy traditions and goofy days and (my personal favorite) secret societies.

Folks, I would love nothing more than to either a) be in a secret society b) start one. Obviously, since I'm broadcasting this information on my blog, I do not have one and cannot start one, but in my wildest dreams I would love nothing more. Brenna went on for ages about how fantastic the student population was and how even though it's now co-ed the guys are different--it definitely takes a certain kind of guy to be interested in what was recently an all women's college.

On a similar note, Brenna (can you tell I've found a minor role model?) studied abroad in England for a year and had the time of her life. This is wonderful news, considering I desperately desire to go second semester next year. The only thing that slightly worries me is that she has such an unbelievably positive outlook on life. You know how I always talk about how I love experiences and opportunities and like to think I'm pretty darn appreciative of them? Take that appreciation and multiply it by a thousand and you are sort of near the range of Brenna's enthusiasm. It makes it difficult for me to believe that she could find any experience negative.

Regardless, she got to talking about the "European attitude." [Keep in mind I'm constantly with five other girls--one of whom is married and has a child, but the others are all single, so boys tend to come up a fair amount.] Apparently English men (the way she tells it) simply have a different attitude altogether and an astounding confidence lacking in American men (and women for that matter.) The way she depicted it, men there can sense an energy about a woman, pick up on it (whether they think they have a chance with her or not) and just go right up and talk to her. Fancy that. And they have great hair. And dress well (without being constantly referred to as 'gay'!)

Anyway, all this talk about small schools, incredible educations (and the value of a good education), secret societies, and confident boys led me to one place this evening. And that place was youtube. (Surprised, anyone?) But do you know what movie I searched for? I bet you can guess...

Dead Poets Society.

This combination of confidence, secret societies, love of learning, and study abroad for some bizarre reason makes me want to hop on a plane to the Northeast and find some crazy women's school and join secret societies that have no sororities, no boys, no ridiculous cowboy hats, and produces people like Hilary Clinton and Katharine Hepburn. This sounds quite fabulous right now.

In all honesty, I think I could probably push myself to go to a women's college (even after 6 years of Hockaday) particularly since my opinion of men (pathetically enough) has plummeted further since my acquaintance with fraternity slobs and the boys who will undoubtedly invent something and make millions but in the meantime spend all their free time playing World of Warcraft in their rooms for hours. (Of course there are the gay ones, who for the most part are completely pleasant and who I seem to readily befriend in a matter of seconds) Still, the thought of finding nice, decent guys who have an appreciation for the arts and are still relatively well dressed and desire to be friends with me still remains a part of my vision for life so I guess I'll keep on with my coeducation:) (Ha, did you really think I could do single sex? Please...)

I am wishy washy. And confused. And frustrated. I want a big city and a school with diversity, but I want a crazy creative vibrant community. Does this even exist?

On an entirely separate note, I've found a delightfully large number of kids in this show (and others) who had nothing to do with being a music or theatre major at their schools. They've majored in everything from engineering, education, english, history, premed, and foreign language.

The actual theatre part of the education I could receive elsewhere might surpass Rhodes, but I'd rather be a well educated person who becomes a good actress than a decent actress whose one in a million but can't speak intelligently. Know what I mean?

This is another rant/ramble that's probably entirely incoherent, but it's got my juices flowing. (And it has my appreciation for liberal arts boosted to an extreme) So here's to Brenna.

And now I shall sleep. Good night.

So You Think You Can Dance

Watch it this season--I'm in love with about half of the cast (particularly Will.)


Pointless post! Apologies!

Seriously?

The best they can do is ensure public transportation by the time I'm 41?

I had so much faith in Dallas! Let's get a move on!

Kelli O'Hara

I love to hate you.

She's 32 and she couldn't possibly be more amazing.

Current unrealistic goal: make it to NYC for my birthday and see South Pacific.

I'll need LOTS of luck for this one to happen!!!!

Ramblings Regarding Passion

If Hockaday graduates ran the nation, we would be unstoppable.

Or doomed to total demolition.

I know none of you were worried, but Bayla and I eased beautifully back into our usual routine of spending an inordinate amount of time with one another, mild bickering, soul-searching-what-we-think-is-deep-but-is-probably-just-residue-teen-angst conversations, obsession over art, dance, and passion, and incessant giggle fits (often over nothing.) Sorry if I made you vomit from that verbal Hallmark card I just poured on you guys, but I missed my best friend. It happens. I dearly love my friends in Memphis (and absolutely see potential for similar relationships), but there is always something about the comfort of an old friend. They know you in a way that no one else could—and Bay and I went through oodles and oodles of nonsense together. Anyway, last night we were just chatting and gabbing about nonsense (Obama v. Hilary, vice presidency, etc) and ended up (somewhat unnaturally—since somehow the presence of college has evaporated from our friendship) talking about frustrations with school. I talked to an old friend on AIM yesterday (a really random occurrence since we hadn’t spoken since high school graduation) and she told me she hated her school. Full on loathed it. And I asked her if she was staying and she said yes because of scholarship money and networking opportunities. She complained just as much as (if not more) than everyone else at Hockaday about the obscene expectations of being a daisy, rigorous academics, and absurd competition. But yesterday she admitted that she absolutely missed the Hockaday teachers and students—crazy though they may be.

I doubt any of us would ever go back. I legitimately feel nauseous thinking about donning the green and white plaid, saddle oxfords, and sticky blazer—preparing for another terrifying routine of oh-how-did-I-screw-up-today? But at the same time, hindsight’s 20/20. I have been completely lucky and blessed at Rhodes professor-wise. Generally speaking, I’ve had more wonderful professors than not, and the ones that I love, I adore. However, something I have learned as of late is:

The world is not full of Hockadaisies. The students and companions I had at Hockaday were people I can’t find anywhere else. I could probably find people who individually possessed traits similar to my classmates, but I doubt I will ever be with the whole package: heiresses to a million huge corporations and businesses, girls who put on full scale productions and dance shows, the same number of driven athletes, internationally recognized models, junior Olympians, etc.

And this is probably a good thing.

By the same token, we were absolutely spoiled. Hockaday is social Darwinism. The weak are weeded out by high school, and any kids who come in ninth grade better figure out fast whether they’ll make it or not (and they do.) When Beth (Wortley) and I were discussing this at breakfast, she noted that not all hockaday girls were geniuses who worked hard, but then quickly retracted that statement with “Then again, compared to the rest of the world even the ‘slackers’ are pretty brilliant.” And it’s totally true.

This is by no means a knock against Rhodes. Rhodes professors have been some of the most intelligent people I’ve ever encountered. And there are SO many people at Rhodes smarter than I am. And there are plenty of people with far more talent in every imaginable arena.

What I haven’t found is the same surplus of is drive and ambition. At Hockaday, you survive on hope. You make good grades in middle school and find an extracurricular you are passionate about and can thrive in. You take SAT prep. You start high school. You fall flat on your face but you pick yourself up and you sure as heck better know who you are fast. Find your identity. Then start selling that identity to colleges. Get ready for college and network while you can. Go to college. Make connections. Get internships. Get ready for grad school. Go to grad school to get a job. Get a job to make money and work your way up in whatever field you (essentially) chose or discovered in middle school.

This, naturally, is hyperbole. (Isn’t everything here?) But put bluntly, that’s how we’re crafted. We’re crafted to speak eloquently, speak our minds, know exactly what we think about everything (meanwhile remaining more or less open minded) and above all, TAKE EVERY OPPORTUNITY YOU ARE GIVEN.

At Rhodes, I jumped into everything head on—expecting the same amount of competition and struggle to succeed in extracurriculars. I found that—contrary to Hockaday where very tiny thing is a struggle—they were happy to load on responsibility and power to those who truly yearned for it. Unfortunately, this left me with about five hundred activities and no time.

In these activities, I found much frustration. CODA was one of the most delightful things about Rhodes, but many of the kids underappreciated the program. This was completely infuriating. Not only were we given a scholarship for mere passion and a measly 10 hours a week of arts activity, but also we were given trips (where we networked and met millions of fantastic arts folk) and weekly workshops about arts advocacy and administration. I became so frustrated and discouraged by my companions who complained about weekly blog entries (let’s be honest: I love the blog) and “required trips” to Chicago that I got bogged down and less excited about the program in general. Can these people be built up to work hard and find that ambition and drive? Or should the program just have different people all together?

In my a cappella group, we spent hours upon hours working on SEVENTEEN different songs that all ended up sounding pathetic and miserable. Was it because we weren’t talented? I doubt it. Individually, we were all pretty strong singers. It’s because it wasn’t run effectively so no one cared.

In student government, my committee leader made no effort to genuinely seem passionate about anything we were doing. Why would we work hard and enthusiastically if they didn’t give us reason to?

Everything is treated as a burden or required task. Why can’t they appreciate these things as opportunities? EVERYTHING is an opportunity! Everything is an experience!

When I told the kids at Hockaday that I was going to take on a full scale musical and spend every waking hour pouring my life into it, I was thanked and lauded for that experience that I was “giving” to them. I largely cast underclassmen who hadn’t had leads before and then had the opportunity to take on something a bit bigger. We ended up having 40 kids in cast and crew (after having 60+ audition.) I found two remarkably talented individuals at Rhodes (both involved with the music department and potential music majors) who I would love to put in a show together. The guy’s favorite musical was The Last Five Years (a show I directed in my junior year of high school) and the girl recently became acquainted (and enamoured) with it. I told them I’d love nothing more than to direct them. While both of them were enthusiastic, neither of them were ever willing to start a rehearsal time. They complained that they were involved in too much (2 activities each.)

You make time for the things you love. It’s like working out. You go when you can. You make time. If it’s important to you, you’ll wake up an hour earlier and start your day off right. If you want to be in a show and you are already going mad, you drop something else or you learn to manage time differently.

I have to work now, but I’ll continue this post later!

Dallas Arts District

Why the Dallas Arts District Will Be Awesome:

Dallas Arts District Timeline

10 Things

1. Obama. Heck yes.
2. Reasons to Be Pretty-- Neil LaBute's new piece. Must see it. Pronto.
3. Damn Yankees-- I'm totally insignificant, but I'm having a lovely time with the show, and it's going to be great.
4. Pearce High School's Miss Saigon -- Makes me depressed. Elizabeth Judd is phenomenal.
5. Passing Strange -- A strong contender for best musical. So WHY can't I like it? On that same note...
6. In The Heights -- I don't like it either. I'm sure I'll take this back later. maybe. I'm exceptionally unexcited about the Tony's this year. Other than Gypsy/South Pacific I don't particularly care about much.
7.Really, RENT? Give it up. Seriously. You can tour for a million years until everyone realizes it's a really poorly written show with catchy rock music. Mmkay?
8. Saved The Musical -- Looks awful. Described as "Legally Blonde" for Jesus freaks. Does not sound like a winner. Can you tell that I'm REALLY frustrated with the musical theatre world right now?
9. Science of Sarcasm -- Love it.
10. Are Blogs Bad for Us


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