TOTALLY RANDOM for Christmas--part 1

Delirium and exhaustion but lack of sleep=

Barbra Streisand and Audrey Hepburn are jointly responsible for my career path. That, and natural disasters. When I was four or five years old, my mother took me and my childhood best buddy, Ginny, to Galveston. Ginny’s mother and sister came along as did my sister, and we were prepared for a joyous time out on the beach. Unfortunately, due to the fact that Texas has the most obscenely unpredictable, bizarre, and silly weather patterns of any state or country, God pooped a tropical storm on our party plans and we were stuck inside. Imagine two mothers running around after two five year olds, a three year old, and a two year old. Does this sound like fun? In what I can only imagine was a totally chaotic mess of a situation, my mother took the two films she had (either they had them in the condo or my mother had brought them…I believe it was the former because I don’t think we owned them…) and put one in the TV. This film, my friends, was Hello, Dolly! While Hello, Dolly was meant to be background noise and a mild distraction, I reportedly sat Indian-style totally mesmerized by what I saw on the screen. Singing, dancing, a beautiful plot told through music, and a million smiling faces from a different time reassuring me that the world would be as simple and tidy as an adult as it was for me as a child. I thought it was completely magical. My mother was completely befuddled by this situation, but took advantage of it. Once Hello, Dolly finished, she put in tapes one and two of My Fair Lady. I remained completely entranced. To this day, I am bewitched by musical theatre. It seems nobody remembers or loves the classics anymore (except for occasional high school theatre) and it makes me truly upset. So many of my friends in musical theatre have zero knowledge of musicals that predate RENT and it makes me want to gouge out my eyeballs. Musical theatre has taken an odd direction, as of late. It’s very sarcastic. Catchy, with a desire to be epic and extremely passionate, but it kind of just all sounds the same. Pasek and Paul are Jason Robert Brown knock offs on steroids. (Now, I know Jason Robert Brown now sounds like lame High School Musical pop music—thank you 13—and there are exceptions of Pasek and Paul which aren’t quite as blatant knock-offs, but for the most part, this is the case.) Kerrigan and Lowdermilk are pretty decent. The music is technically good. Still pretty darn unoriginal. Pretty bland. And most of the time the lyrics are god-awful (exception being Run Away with Me). All anyone can do is kitschy musical theatre cabaret knockoffs of standards. It’s like we’ve become so frustrated with our extensive knowledge of all musical theatre that we can’t even stand it so all we do is mock ourselves. This is why (for the most part) Lyric Stage’s West Side Story was so reassuring and refreshing. It was classic (well, okay, not officially classic but it’s pre 1970) and just beautiful. The dancers made that production fantastic. I found Tony to be absolutely abominable and while I enjoyed Kim’s vocals, her acting didn’t suit the role (which shouldn’t be something you can say of an actress, by the way…) and it was ridiculous with all that makeup and silly wig portraying Maria. The point is, the full orchestra and dancers completed that show. The essence of what that show is, was there.

People in DFW treat theatre like a business to the extreme. We’ve lost sight of the beauty and art. Bruce Coleman understands a good show. He understands actors. He understands the intricacy and beauty of a good costume (oh my gosh, go see Trysts in Toledo at Theatre Three—it’s hysterical and the costumes alone make it worth your money). Jenny Thurman understands the complete and true importance of character. Genuine compassion and heart of a character. Turning that character into a living, breathing being rather than a performance of look-what-I-can-do. James McQuellin understands the passion of music. The highs and lows, crescendos and diminuendos. The importance of the voice but the precedence of the music, accompaniment, lyrics, and intention. Kyle McLaran understands risk-taking to an unreal degree. I learned so incredibly much from him in Footloose and think he’s one of the most underrated guys in this town. Amy Stevenson understands the importance of gathering friends around for musical theatre cabaret. Emily Gray understands humor and all things British to the craziest level. Matthew Gray is a crazy-fabulous director. These people have no idea how much they have taught me, and while I’m trying to (in small ways) thank them and let them know, I doubt they ever really will. Let’s make a thank-you list, in the spirit of the holidays.

Thank you to…

1. Lola Dill. Piano is my greatest stress release, passion, and channel for all things musical. Without my ability to play piano, I would go crazy and so much of my life thus far would not have happened. More than this, thanks for spending endless hours hounding me about musicality, the curvature of the fingers, and the placement of the body on the piano bench. It’s making my career.
2. Kyle McLaran. For taking risks, for embracing differences, and for continually surprising me with how wonderful your quirks and crazy ideas are.
3. Emily Gray. For teaching me so much about Shakespeare and dramaturgy, for how to truly direct a show, and for being such a brilliant model of what an actress should be.
4. Matt Gray. For the one time you watched Shrew rehearsal and perfectly verbally communicated all my thoughts/critiques and more in a way the actors internalized and understood. You taught me so much in the thirty minutes you spoke, you have no idea.
5. Ed Long. For being a crazy brilliant genius who taught me an insane amount about conducting, musical theatre, classical music, art, the history of Hockaday, and how to tell a story. Even more importantly, for teaching me to capitalize on my passions and pursue them all.
6. BonnieJean Coleman. For setting a goal for me as a pianist to be able to transpose anything, and to hear someone sing and immediately know what to play for them, how to play it, and in the correct key.
7. Beth Wortley. For being a second mother, being the ultimate supporter, being an older version of my endlessly overcommitted and multitasking self, and for appreciating the true class and wonder of a good old fashioned musical. Also, for being a remarkable choreographer and teaching me the importance of a real vision in theatre and dance.
8. Susan Hubbard. For teaching me how one woman is capable of running an entire show and there is no excuse not to complete a task in theatre. One person really is capable of running lights, sound, costumes, backstage, crew, cast, auditions, rehearsals, blocking, musical direction, and choreography.
9. John Weeden. For being a dreamer and helping me realize that’s a part of me and having those huge dreams is more than okay. For embracing and helping me build up my passion for the arts, arts advocacy, and arts administration. For causing me to desperately go live in London.
10. Mr. Maloney. For starting up Odyssey of the Mind and Destination Imagination, and starting this crazy theatrical journey. For helping me write, as a fourth grader, a crazy Holocaustal version of Macbeth and teaching me the difference between intelligence and wisdom. I’ll never forget it.
11. Trigger Butler. For basically being a theatrical character 24/7 and turning all things English into great theatre. For having faith in me. For making me strive to be better in an environment that was almost too easy. For teaching me how to properly shake someone’s hand.
12. Dr. Venable. For giving me passion in language. English, French, Spanish, German, it doesn’t matter. Because of your classes in elementary school, I knew I loved written and spoken word and would enjoy the study of it forever.
13. Mrs. Lee. For being the most kindhearted person I know and for practically crying when I gave you a build-your-own-gingerbread house. You taught me the importance of a thoughtful Christmas gift, 1000 Chinese characters, and the greatest smile I’ve ever seen.
14. Brendan Court. For being a guardian angel and probably subconsciously being inspiration for the list I’m making right now. A few months before you passed, you made a list of all of your friends and your favorite things about them. At your funeral, I remember Abby mentioning that list and how crazy it was seeing how many friends you had and seeing how much you really cared about them all. It’s an incredible thing, truly. I still think of you all the time and wonder what your crazy, kindhearted spirit would do in certain situations in my life.
15. Ginny Seeley. For teaching me how to be a best friend.
16. Katie Specht. For teaching me that I would never be the mature one of our group of friends, but that it was okay cause you totally had it covered!
17. Roseanne Blair. For sitting on the Circus Wagon and writing and plotting crazy schemes and analyzing the social nature of fourth graders. For introducing me to Sixpence NonetheRicher, Rocket (the computer game), incense, Hairspray (the original one that we watched at your fourth grade birthday party) and pretty much being my literary soulmate.
18. Robbie Kessler. For being my first boyfriend and for (ever so appropriately) dancing ballet with me on our first date when we ate parfaits (which recipe came out of an American GirlDoll cookbook) at my dining room table. And saw Harriet the spy—a movie which changed my view of composition notebooks forever.
19. Elizabeth Moran. For enduring the crap that ridiculous eleven year olds put you (and the rest of us) through and for turning out to be a really awesome person while they’re still pretty clueless.
20. Abby Lichliter. For that time when you visited Hockaday and I introduced you as my friend and you quickly corrected me that you were not and the subsequent lesson of how to introduce people. Particularly those with a particular view of themselves. Also, for hours of Mario Kart and dancing to the Dixie Chicks in socks. And watching PG-13 movies in the workout room.
21. Ms. Gwen. Who taught me that dance was not worth it if it was going to be totally and completely utterly miserable. And that really, it’s not dancing if it’s not joyous. Also, to never, ever lock up a fourth grader post-mono and put their recital music on repeat in a rehearsal room until they learned it. Reflecting upon this ten years later, I kind of want to tell you that it scarred me and wasn’t okay. Hmm. Moving on.
22. Katie Powell. For having amazing stage presence and charisma and truly causing me to want to tap dance and be in DBC tap company.
23. Karen Stanford. For teaching me how to tap—utterly and completely. Best tap teacher I’ve ever had and I’m immensely grateful.
24. Hockaday. For beating me down to nothing only so I could rise up completely.
25. Meredith McAlister. For forcing me to be a director and giving me an incredible actress to work with. Last Five Years is still one of the best experiences I’ve had in my life.
26. John Glass Aldous. For making me feel remarkably stupid for not knowing 25^th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee in Mockingbird Station at the beginning of junior year. You and Lizzie Cochran were the catalyst for my modern/contemporary musical theatre freakout. And for being my gay Scottish husband.
27. Allison Klion. For INFIABSIA and teaching me to love the Beatles and classic rock.
28. Bayla Gottesman. For being my other half for the better part of my time at Hockaday, and for being the most inspirational dancer I have ever seen in my life. You light up the stage when you perform, and I hope to be half as charismatic and passionate on stage as you are.
29. Julie Smith. For being one of the most kindhearted people I know—genuinely.
30. Sarah Satinsky. For never letting the bad stuff get you down. It’s really unbelievable and is quite remarkable to a drama queen like me.
31. Kim Starfield. For taking me to France and for being the ultimate best friend. For teaching me maturity and patience. For being my counselor.
32. Nicole Bullock. For unintentionally gearing me up for what Hockaday would be when your mother started quizzing you on the capitals of countries in the Middle East in seventh grade on the way home from school.
33. Mrs. Rose. For letting me know at a very young age that it’s perfectly alright to be friends with a teacher.
34. Mrs. Westfall. For informing me of the importance of makeup.
35. Mrs. Kohl. For informing me that I never want to take Latin, and it’s not worth burning bridges out of bitterness or making students miserable over trivial matters.
36. Mrs. Case. For taking so much time to help a munchkin with the spelling bee.
37. Mrs. Snow. For teaching me to write fiction creatively.
38. Mrs. Cunningham. For being the most patient teacher I ever had.
39. Mrs. Broussard. For listening to musical theatre in advisory and being patient in listening to my middle school woes.
40. Bess Milner. For being an incredibly patient friend in the worst phase of my life, teaching me what great writing is, teaching me about Catholicism, and being a B*Witched enthusiast.
41. Will Arbery. For being my first love and teaching me more than you’ll probably ever know. My love for classic film and appreciation for great movies completely stems from what you taught me in 8^th-10^th grade. For spending hours every night talking to me and wondering about the world—religion, politics, and our place in it. With you, my tiny existence as a fourteen year old broadened immensely. You taught me to love letter writing. I never really got to thank you the way I wanted to and you probably won’t ever read this, but thank you.
42. Stephen Fox. You are, hands-down, the most sincere person I know. You care about people so much and absolutely deserve unbelievable happiness. You stayed friends with me despite all middle school and high school shenanigans, through the times we ignored each other, when we dated (the first…sixth…eight…tenth…however many times) and after we broke up. You’re a great musician, totally brilliant, a wonderful friend, and a remarkable guy. You’ve given me more lessons in forgiveness and compassion than you’ll ever know.
43. Elizabeth Stevenson. You unintentionally taught me to be nice to underclassmen, regardless. Condescension is totally useless, frivolous, and frustrating.
44. Skylar Harrison. You taught me how incredible the power of determination is. You are truly remarkable.
45. Monroe Lacerte. To this day, I think you might be the happiest and wittiest person I know.
46. Lauren Valletutti. You taught me sass.
47. Jourdan Hurst. You are such a kindred spirit in so many ways. We’ve been through so many of the same things and I love that you maintain the sweetest disposition ever despite what life throws at you. You’re one of my real-life heroes.
48. Maxey Whitehead. For giving an unreal performance in the Crucible several years ago and really making a huge impression of what a great actress should be to me when it was still a totally foreign hobby.
49. Rachel Tamez. For teaching me about college.
50. Sarah Endres. For teaching me that I am not cut-out to be a roommate but that you can be wonderful friends without living well together!
51. Leah Taylor. For introducing me to lez-rock. And for giving me a reason to chase you around Glassell for twenty minutes.
52. Tracy Leigh. For teaching me to be a diva.
53. Darius Anthony Robinson. For teaching me passion.
54. Buff Shurr. For casting me in Thoroughly Modern Millie when I auditioned for it completely on a whim. And for having patience with a remarkably slow 17/18 year old.
55. Rachel Harpool. For showing me true ambition.
56. Laura McLain. For being the best, best friend in the world. For spending hours into the wee morning discussing life and playing the piano. For sharing a passion in music. For being the sweetest person on earth. For having faith in me. For letting me be your friend and accompanist. For staying friends with me since I’ve been home. For still making an effort. For being just plain awesome
57. Jason Villareal. For being a fabulous Indian/Asian and just being a dear sweetheart.
58. Samantha. For teaching me that hostility is never the answer and some drama just isn’t worth the energy.
59. Andrew Campbell. For teaching me that it’s all gonna be okay.
60. Kevin Vichyastit. For being a buddy I know I’ll keep forever and travel with when we’re both rich and famous!
61. Allie Hayes. For being an over-analyzer. For being a brilliant writer. For being a friend.
62. Ben Kitchens. For enduring my quirks and spending a whole summer with me. It’s still a summer that hasn’t been beat.
63. Allen Pierce. For teaching me that it is possible to have a straight male platonic best friend! And for being a darn good one at that.
64. Joshua Doss. For Nemo.

TBC because I'm exhausted...

How Glory Goes

Today's one of those days where I'm thinking about 1.9 billion things at once. Unfortunately, I'm sick and my head's all clogged up which doesn't help matters. Let's start with updates and then I'm sure I'll begin rambling.

1. Footloose is fabulous. I'm totally obsessed the production and cast. Who'da thunk? Yes, the book is terrible. It's not a strong plot. However, it's a thoroughly entertaining production and I'm pretty darn fond of my dumb-as-a-rock character. I'll post pictures up here eventually. The theatrical experiences I've had since being home (Damn Yankees, Annie Get Your Gun, Taming of the Shrew, and Footloose) as well as both successful and unsuccessful auditions have taught me more than I can explain. I've learned what my type is. How I'm likely to be cast. Where I lie comparably to other people talent wise in the Dallas community. Who to trust. Who plays games. Who's over it. Who the real performers are. Who the real friends are. I keep saying it, but I'm not ready to leave. at all. I feel like I'm just now entering a trajectory that could get me somewhere and I have to put it all on hiatus for an "education" (aka a huge sum of money for the spot on my resume that says "BA/BFA in _____ from _____." That's it. Blargh--oh the frustration! I had a nightmare last night that I went back to Rhodes to just finish out a music major and get it over with. I could do it still, I think. But I think I'd nearly go insane.

Aaactually, looks like I've got to go. more updates later, but for now

I love music.
I love love.

C'est tout!

I feel like JRB's being a sellout.

Thirteen just doesn't excite me. It seems like a moneymaking opportunity, a trite-cliche plotline, and little else. JRB's lettin' me down, man!

Lizzie Taught Him That

I love that my life is fully consumed by music right now. The most rewarding thing about my life right now is that I have fewer obstacles to my truest love, and therefore fewer obstacles to happiness. At Hockaday, it was an extra-cirricular. I went "above and beyond." I wasn't just a student, I fully pursued the arts. In truth, I did what I had to to get by academically (at least in subjects that didn't fully interest me...this wasn't always the case in English and it was never the case if I had a teacher who made me love the subject) and devoted my real energy to the arts. I don't regret it at all. At Rhodes, I was an student involved in all sorts of activities. I was a resume builder. But I also spent hours every evening sneaking into Hassell, punching in the code I memorized to play the Steinway, and would compose, sing, research, and learn new music alone in that old building until 3:00 or 4:00 AM in the morning, barely getting enough sleep to be coherent in class the next morning. I spent my mornings feeling frustrated and trapped, my afternoons flustered and overbooked, and my evenings occupied with meetings and rehearsals. Twilight was when I was free and happy. Rhodes is a sleepy campus most of the time--even on the weekends but particularly through the week in the evenings. I felt like Jo March, working on inspiration deep into the night, trying desperately to make a career out of her passion. Interestingly enough (and much to my mother's chagrin) I feel the money we spent on tuition for Rhodes was spent more towards that Steinway piano in Hassell and my use of it (I guarantee you I spent more time on it than anyone else in that year) than my classes, dorm experience, college experience overall, and daytime education. I lived and breathed a couple of my classes last year; Jennifer Brady was one of the best teachers I've ever had (as were Dr. Harter, Professor Cohen, and John Weeden) and I learned immensely from them, just as I learned that fixing the Rhodes bookstore, drinking at frat parties, spending hours doing MacGamut (or McDamnit, rather), pretending to be interested in visual art, singing in a mediocre ensemble (not Rhodes Singers--that was a phenomenal experience) was not what I want to spend my time doing. I'm not a sorority girl. I'm not interested in being at a Student Government meeting for a school that's not right for me. I don't want music theory to ruin the mystery and magic of my passion. I don't want to pursue things that are a waste of time or going to result in mediocrity. I don't care about emotions-on-your-sleeve avant garde theatre and professors that play endless games to dissuade you from your career choice.

Right now, I'm in my den, playing Audra McDonald, browsing through the pictures I've uploaded of the show I just closed (Annie Get Your Gun), smelling of nasty old frappucino mix from work, with blisters on my feet from the show, a backache from what I'm currently rehearsing, and the happiness that I spent time on something that was ultimately fulfilling. I'm safe here, surrounded by the comfort of the home I've grown up in, full of old pictures of family, yearbooks from St. John's, Madame Alexander dolls we collected as kids, and the space that's been full of love, affection, family events, drama, fights, makeups, faith, and friends from as far back as I can remember. Here I am encouraged to pursue my passion. My home supports me. My family supports me. Old friends, teachers, and this city support me. Here I can thrive, create, and learn. And even though I'm envious of Memphis fall, I'm sent encouragement almost daily that I'm moving in the right direction.

I've run off on a tangent again. Surprise, surprise. Basically, I just love the feeling of waking up happy. I might not be happy to go to work (at least initially) or drag myself from audition to rehearsal to performance--the day to day mundane things, but overall I couldn't be happier. Life is being quite wonderful to me, and I'm trying to soak in every moment and experience I can.

PS: Quote of the Day

Palin may be a pit bull, but Biden was holding the leash.

Sorry for the Surplus of Political Rants!

I don't really mean to shove politics down the throats of the few people who actually read this, but I am not someone who (without being prompted) will discuss politics in person. If I'm prompted, of course I respond--but more or less diplomatically. This is my outlet for rants/thoughts/articles/videos I've seen. As far as I know, the majority of my family (immediate and extended) is likely to vote for McCain. I'm not voting against them to be nonconformist. I also understand that voting for Obama seems to be the "cool" thing to do amongst people my age. 99% of the professors I respected most or knew the most about government and politics (all of my history professors and government teacher) at Hday and at Rhodes are voting for Obama. That's not why I'm interested in Obama. I don't like to make uninformed decisions. I've literally spent hours upon hours researching both candidates and their running mates, videos, news articles, issue by issue, votehelp.com (one of the sites that will tell you where your opinions mostly fall with either candidate), etc.

I understand that John McCain was a POW. I respect that. I don't see that being the best factor in making him president. I was listening to NPR yesterday and they had a call-in session for opinions on the experience of both Obama and John McCain. One man called in and said he had also been a POW for 5 years (this was an older gentleman) and he said that gave him great respect for McCain, but said nothing about how he would run our country--even in a time of war (especially when he will not consent to creating a timeline to remove the troops from Iraq.) Two boys in my theatre class at school just got called up (they're in the reserves) and neither of them have a desire for this war to continue. They're in the military to pay for school and they said the majority of those in their training camp were planning to vote for Obama. The war has put our economically screwed up nation in even greater debt, and not only have we done very little to aid Iraq, you just can't fight terrorism. Yes, I'm glad we've upped airport security and border security. Newsflash: this is not Austin Powers. There isn't one huge conglomerate of world terrorists who conspire monthly to attack a random place in the world. Terrorism is a concept, not a nation or group of people. By all means, help our security. In foreign affairs, diplomacy is the best policy.

What's in a name?
Stop calling Barack "B. Hussein Obama." Why does it matter what his middle name is? What's Sarah Palin's middle name? Or John McCain's? It's a name. He didn't pick it. It doesn't mean he's a terrorist. It doesn't mean he's Muslim.

Muslim, Really?
Since I'm not a huge fan of religion intermingling with politics (just as politics shouldn't enter a church..), I'm not bothered particularly by all of this, but I know people who are. Jeremiah Wright (a pastor previously VERY well respected by conservative activists) was Obama's pastor (of a church he has since left and has publicly disagreed with.) Beyond this, those clips were taken out of context (though I agree they shouldn't have been said at all.) Obama's a Christian. He goes to church (reportedly) every Sunday. McCain (reportedly) does not. Anyone care to know what James Dobson has to say about McCain? Dobson says 'no way' to McCain Candidacy

Social Issues
I'm socially liberal. I would never have an abortion and believe you should accept the possibility and responsibility of creating a child, but I do not think the government would do anyone any favors by making abortions illegal. It's not going to make anyone more responsible and it will just lead to more self-induced abortions. Both John McCain and Barack Obama support civil unions. Neither of them adamantly speak of gay marriage rights (I believe both are against.) Both Sarah Palin and Joe Biden support civil unions as well.

Where They Stand on the Issues
How much controversy have you heard about Obama flipflopping on the issues? How much have you heard about McCain? (For a master list of flipflops, see here, here, and here.)

VPs
Joe Biden: is the senior United States Senator from Delaware. He is both the Democratic vice presidential nominee for the November 2008 election and a candidate for re-election in the U.S. Senate. Biden was first elected to the Senate in 1972, and became the fifth-youngest senator in U.S. history. He was re-elected to the Senate in 1978, 1984, 1990, 1996, and 2002, and has served for the sixth-longest period among current senators. Biden is a long-time member and current chairman of the Foreign Relations Committee.
Sarah Palin: My favorite streaky highlights/hockey mom/betcha gonna/former mayor of a town of 9,000/Alaska's proximity to Russia makes me an expert on foreign policy "It's just separated by a small maritime border"/beat around the bush/creationism taught in schools/talk about inexperience: flipflopped on the Bride to Nowhere. Pentecostal. So terrible at speaking/sounding remotely intelligent that SNL was able to directly quote chunks of her interview with Katie Couric without any rewriting. Hyper conservative with a pregnant, unwed 17 year old daughter. Really? Jack Cafferty on Sarah Palin.

Furthermore, with headlines like these:

U.S. Sheds 159,000 Jobs; 9th Straight Monthly Drop

Why Do Democrats Bring More Jobs?

[How can we afford not to vote for change?]

Most importantly:
Register to Vote
www.rockthevote.com



[END RANT]:)

Really? Really, Sarah?

Clip Uno: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L8__aXxXPVc

Clip Dos: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nokTjEdaUGg

And the best clip of all:) : http://www.nbc.com/Saturday_Night_Live/video/clips/couric-palin-open/704042/

She can see Russia from her house.

LIFE!!!!

1. It is simply unfair that this phase of life is transitional. I haven't been this happy or life-satisfied for AGES and it's painful to think of leaving where I am right now!
2. SHOWS:
I'm still in Annie Get Your Gun right now as Winnie Tate at Theatre Arlington. We have 3 more weekends (woohoo!) It's fun and it's pretty odd to have a steady weekend performance job. The movement/lyrics/music is totally ingrained in all of us now and it's just what we do. I don't know how to explain it, but it's a wonderful feeling. I like to pretend like it's way more important than it is (aka pretending like I'm on tour) but it works for now. We run Thurs-Sun until Oct. 12.

I'm assistant directing The Taming of the Shrew with Emily Gray at Richland. I just had the chance to fully run rehearsals for the week while Emily was in Alaska and I had a BALL. It'd been a year since I'd directed anything, and even though it took a bit to get back in gear, I really enjoyed it and missed it. Shrew opens three days after AGYG close--Oct 15-22.

I just got cast in Footloose at Garland Civic Theatre. I'm thrilled they cast me, despite the fact that I'm missing 3 out of 6 weeks of rehearsal!! We run November 14-December 6. I'm playing Wendy Jo and understudying Ariel.

3. It's my sister's birthday--Happy Birthday Abby!

4. I love being in Dallas, being with family, and doing shows. Ahhh life is happiness.

5. College is still the plan despite this break of sorts, and I am excited about doing musical theatre in college. I'm pretty much down to OCU, UArts, Michigan, Elon, Sam Houston, Penn State, BoCo, and Carnegie.

I'll keep you updated!!

Tina Fey for President

According to a new analysis by the Tax Policy Center, a joint project of the Urban Institute and the Brookings Institution, Democrat Barack Obama and Republican John McCain are both proposing tax plans that would result in cuts for most American families. Obama's plan gives the biggest cuts to those who make the least, while McCain would give the largest cuts to the very wealthy. For the approximately 147,000 families that make up the top 0.1 percent of the income scale, the difference between the two plans is stark. While McCain offers a $269,364 tax cut, Obama would raise their taxes, on average, by $701,885 - a difference of nearly $1 million.

PS: watch the SNL skit with Tina Fey and Amy Pohler in case you've been living in a cave.
PPS: www.sarahpaliniscrazy.com is an actual registered domain
PPPS: legitimate update soon. life is fabulous. so is obama.

Where did she go?

Hey there, folks.  I know (for the tiny following I have here that I've probably lost over the last month) that I have disappeared.  This is because I HAVE (in essence) disappeared.  My schedule: wake up, starbucks/babysit, rehearsal, repeat.  It's been a long, long time since I've had a single afternoon (let alone a day!) to relax and have me time and I am in SERIOUS need of it!  While (as anyone who knows me knows..) I love being busy, there is such a thing as TOO much and I feel like my life (or at least what I had socially) has fallen apart because I'm so overcommitted.  Fortunately, babysitting duties end next week as the youngin's head back to school (and I couldn't be happier, cute as some of them are!) 

Not too much has really happened.  Laura visited, which was delightful (for the day!) rehearsals have started (it's going to be fun but I can't wait until I don't have to go to Arlington EVERY day) and I saw Damn Yankees at Casa Manana (which was great, but they absolutely without a doubt took QUITE a few "ideas" from Mr. Joseph Jones...so that's always interesting.)  The talent was great, though, and despite my not-overly-enthusiastically sentiments about the show, it was enjoyable.

Mama's party has become my obsession.  Unfortunately, now that I have rehearsal, I can barely ever go.  I love musical theatre cabaret.  Geez louise I'm ridiculous.

I must be sucked into the MT world bigtime--my greatest desire right now is a pair of $200 character shoes and I'm saving money for overpriced headshots.  Ha!

Alright, well I'm off but talk to you folks later!

Legally Blonde: The Search for the New Elle Woods

I knew it would happen, but I'm seriously hating on Bailey right now.

Autumn Hulburt got robbed. She better freaking get a leading role on broadway right now. Hopefully in a show better than Legally Blonde. I'm not seeing it as long as Bailey's the lead. Sure, she's a southern blonde sorority girl, but she's no leading lady.

This show couldn't help but make me totally invested and obsessed. I hate audition processes period, but this was miserably drawn out. They eliminated my favorites early on (except Autumn) and kept Bailey (who is simply not as strong as about half the other contenders.) Anyway, it's Broadway. I don't care if she "doesn't have to act like Elle Woods. Saying 'omigod you guys' and things like that come naturally," it's acting. Especially in tonights audition, even though the show clearly spun it in Bailey's favor, it was so obvious that Autumn was so much better (punny, I know.)

Still life stressed (of course) so any advice is welcome as always;)

I just...

I just got called Ma'am. Ha!

Freezing in White Rock Coffee

Hey kids. I'm currently freezing my buns off in White Rock Coffee. I don't know if it makes me a traitor to go here if I work at Starbucks, but I'm electing to say it doesn't. I'm supposed to be working on my summer courses (Government and Psych--thrilling, right) but I'm distracted by artsy/independent-coffee-shop-loving-boys, the freezing temperature, and my delightful chai tea latte.

I've decided housesitting is my calling. I had the most WONDERFUL experience housesitting for a family throughout last week. You know how I talk about performing allowing you to step into someone else's life for a second? Housesitting is literally like changing your whole lifestyle. This family had a gorgeous nice house in Lakewood, a fish pond, enormous backyard, two adorable cats, and three chickens. Yes, they have chickens. Rosie, Peachy Pie, and Princess. Every morning, I went out to let out the chickens, water all the plants, collect eggs, and feed the cats. In the evening, I locked up, let the cats in, put the chickens in the coop, and made sure everything was straight. It was absolutely delightful. It's interesting--I don't have any desire to be Suzie homemaker EVER but I love occasionally stepping into this quasi-domestic role. This week I'm watering plants for my cousins. Next week, I'm housesitting for two other families (and can't wait!) and I get their dogs, too, which should be fun. These people keep thinking that leaving the dogs with me is some burden. They're ridiculous. Dogs are the loves of my life and it makes the job even more fun.

Starbucks is still going swimmingly and I absolutely adore making drinks. it's ridiculous and probably kind of sad, but so true.

Babysitting continues to have its challenges. I enjoy it for the most part--the flexibility, having someone looking up to me, and a chance to play all the amazing boardgames (pretty pretty princess, anyone?) and watch all the Disney movies I never think I have time to revisit. It's difficult on occasion, though, particularly when you share nothing in common with the child you're sitting. For example, I sit one boy who I think truly hates me. I mean, this kid loathes me. He likes racecars, videogames, baseball, hockey, and cartoon network. I HATE cartoon network. I don't know if my mother programmed this into me or what, but I am a hardcore Disney kid. The cartoons they show on CN are dreadful, stupid, disgusting, and revolting. I know this seems to be kind of harsh for a little TV network, but I really hate it. Another girl I babysit reminds me SO much of how I was when I was her age. Curious, absolutely willing to find any role model possible, music lover, animal lover, intelligent, and very, VERY tricky. She's attempted to pull just about everything possible, but I coyly mentioned the fact that she needn't bother because it was that long ago that I tried those tricks and trust me, I tried every single one in the book. Heck, I wrote the book! Overall, it's fun...There are just trying moments.

What else? I've seen Mamma Mia 3 times. Pretty embarrassing since it came out two days ago. I'm madly obsessed with Light in the Piazza and have made it my life goal to be Clara at some point in life. I fear this will never become a reality. GCT is doing Footloose in the fall and I'm going to audition even though I loathe that musical with every fiber of my being. That's about it!

Signing off--

Off Broadway Lovin'

LMM hearts TOS

Mamma Mia

Sunny, happy and bubbly escapist film.

Streep was disappointing. There, I said it. Everyone's still saying she's incredible in this. Guys, I love her so much but she just wasn't all that fabulous. She's miserable at musical theatre. Before you yell at me, she has a nice voice and of course has unparalleled acting capabilities. But she can't dance (though the choreography was AWFUL) and it doesn't come naturally at all. For once, you can tell.

Julie Walters, on the other hand, was awesome.

Dominic Cooper pulled it off.

Amanda Seyfried is amazing. Camera loves her, and so did the audience.

Pierce Brosnan made me giggle for all the wrong reasons. He is a terrible, terrible singer.

Colin Firth made me giggle as well, but he knew how goofy he was being and embraced it. Pierce was trying to be all serious and Bond about it. Silly boy.

Overall fun family summertime fun. No Hairspray, though. Quality of talent/direction simply not as high.

This is Beautiful

watch it.

Amazing

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q0lNshPV1lU

Updates

So I started working at Starbucks. It shouldn't be a surprise to any of you all that (of course) I absolutely love it. I should probably be checked out because I'm pretty sure I'm one of the only people in this world who gets an adrenaline rush from pulling espresso shots. It's glorious. My co-workers are fabulous, I sample every tea and coffee and pastry, and I can make a ginormous drink a day for myself. Plus, the customers are awesome (particularly Alberto who comes every morning.)

In other news, I'm ready to pee in my pants I am SO excited for the West Side Story revival. Guys, I've only seen one live production (and it was actually pretty amazing) but this could possibly top my favorite musicals of all time. I can't wait to see it at Lyric, but I WILL be seeing it on broadway. Besides, Arthur Laurents (love of my life/recent director and librettist for Gypsy) is directing. Here's what he said: "This show will be radically different from any other production of WEST SIDE STORY ever done. The musical theatre and cultural conventions of 1957 made it next to impossible for the characters to have authenticity. Every member of both gangs was always a potential killer even then. Now they actually will be. Only Tony and Maria try to live in a different world."

The fine arts fac from Hockaday/St Marks are up in New York for the Broadway Teachers Workshop. They've already met Lin Manuel Miranda, Stephen Schwartz, Jason Robert Brown, and seen [Title of Show], In the Heights, and August Osage County. They gave rave reviews for ITH and Osage County, with mediocre reviews for the new to broadway post-modern [Title of Show.] I find music for both ITH and TOS absolutely addicting (for different reasons) and cannot wait to see both.

I need to make it to NYC sometime within the next couple of months or I will go absolutely insane. Now that I have jobs/have learned the beauty of saving money while living frugally, I should be able to do this!

Billy Elliot should be interesting. I have watched Liam Mower in videos endlessly, and love his dancing/adorable voice, but the music isn't astounding. After all, it's Elton John.

9 to 5 makes me nervous, but it should be pretty fun. Shrek's music will be awesome because Jeanine Tesori is a goddess, but could have a terrible book. Saved looks ridiculous and awful. Spiderman is pretty much the worst idea ever. Damn Yankees at Encores should be fabulous because Jane Krasinski (spelling si vous plait?) is Lola! Hoorah!

I know everyone in the world loved Jersey Boys besides me (and I do enjoy the music and honestly I LOVE Mamma Mia as the guiltiest of pleasures) but I am SICK of jukebox musicals and movies made into musicals. Stop it, you fiends!! Let's get some original work in here! Geez louise!!

SYTYCD is tonight and I CANNOT wait. NappyTabs better be choreographing (and Mia Michaels, though that seems to be hit/miss.) If you guys have been missing out, check out some of Tabitha and Napoleons dances like:
No Air
Bleeding Love
Closer

Tyce Diorio:
Broadway

I'm excited about tonight. Faves are still Katee, Josh, Chelsie, Will, and Twitch. The rest can go.

As for Legally Blonde: The Search for Elle Woods (yes, I watch it. Trust me, it's MUCH better than the ridiculous Grease show though still a bit absurd...) I'm a huge fan of Autumn's (I saw her as Beth in Little Women the tour two years ago 14 times...no seriously) and think she's amazing in all aspects (though too smart to play Elle, I think...) I think she's a leading lady, but maybe not for this show. I was seriously rooting for Lauren (though she's only 18), but it looks like Bailey's a crowd favorite and will probably get it. She's adorable, but I'm sorry she's just not talented enough. Step it up, sister.

I'm insanely excited about mamma mia (largely due to my obsession with Meryl, Pierce, Colin (though he looks dreadful in this), and Dominic (who apparently can't sing but is gorgeous and british) and excitement over seeing Amanda Seyfried in a different kind of role.

Okay that's enough musical theatre ramblings, but basically: life is good, I'm a little nervous about the fall but it's a good nervous, and I need to go to New York. More updates later!!

Random Dramatic Over-The-Top Musing:

I hope I'm turning into a good person.

Vienna Waits For You

So it's my nineteenth birthday. I'm basically still a baby. My birthday is always a bit of a letdown just because I've always been young for my age (well, obviously...your birthday doesn't change) but my friends in my class and above are all starting to turn 21 while I'm just now out of the age of 18.

The thing is, I'm not dreading 19. Everyone says it's boring. It's bland. Nothing happens when you're 19. That may be true, but it's not like eighteen was particularly amazing and that's considered a more "important year." I think the new year is when you're supposed to have a time of reflection etc, but can't you have it on your birthday too? A year has passed in my life. What did I do while I was eighteen?
1. Went to Paris
2. Went to Rhodes
3. Did the whole a cappella, student government, sorority, etc thing
4. Went to NYC, Chicago, Alabama, and Dallas (and Memphis, obviously)
5. was in Damn Yankees

I went through yet another phase where I thought I could make myself look good tan (I can't) and a phase where I thought I could be a sorority girl (I can't) or a partier (on the rare, rare occasion) and in love with Tennessee (not particularly) and more excited about Rhodes than I started out the summer before (didn't really do that either.)

I realize this seems glum and gloomy, and I really am highlighting the negative points (there's no getting around how amazing Paris, NYC, and Chicago were and how much darn fun I had in Damn Yankees this summer), but 17 definitely outdid 18. And I'm hoping that 19 at least falls somewhere in between.

This summer started off well, but a little nervous. I left Rhodes feeling more relieved than sad and that worried me. As I crossed the Mississippi, I looked behind my shoulder at the bridge and the Memphis skyline, and I literally felt so at peace. This makes me sound like a Memphis/Rhodes hater. I'm not. I promise. But the thing is, as the summer progressed, I got more and more anxious about going back.

I didn't want to major in theatre at Rhodes. That left Music in English. To quote Avenue Q, "What do you do with a B.A. in English"? (The song progresses into a giant chorus of "It sucks to be me, and lets be honest, we want to avoid that fate if we can) and majoring only in Music at Rhodes would have made me essentially a music theorist. Well, Music Theory is NOT my calling. I am terrible at it and I hate it. I want to perform.

Admitting to yourself that you have to be a performer is terrifying. It's like identifying with yourself a part of you that you always knew was there but didn't REALLY know was there. Does that make any sense? Look at it this way: it's a lifestyle. It's not just one part of you, it can make up all of you. It changes where you want to live, who you want to be with, what friends you want to have, and how you're defined as a person. It changes the way you spend your time, how you dream for the future, and it's one of the riskiest careers out there. You're basically destined to live in a box in NYC in the middle of nowhere, commute everyday to auditions, miserably be rejected 10000x and then start again.

The further the summer progressed, the more anxious I got thinking about returning to Rhodes. I got an email from my sorority announcing the theme of bid day, "KD Country Club." The sorority allowed me to meet great people, but KD Country Club? Really? "Girls, bring out your best Lilly Pulitzer and J Crew?" I don't think so. Student Government would have been great, but again I was nervous about the arts. It seemed like a theatre takeover. The theatre faculty took over my favorite parts of Rhodes--the music department and CODA.

Then, showtime came around and all these fabulous kids who were pursuing arts careers were perfectly happy at their little arts schools. I cracked. I confessed to my mother that I was a thespian (ha, ha, ha. just to continue the joke) and we concluded that it's absurd to pay as much as we are for a school that I have lukewarm feelings toward and can't major in what I want to.

And so, dear friends (and I'm sorry if you're hearing it for the first time here), I'm not going back in the fall. Rhodes has been a remarkable experience, and technically I'm only taking a leave, but this leave is for me to a) get general education requirements out of the way b) cool off/re-focus c) prepare for auditions around town (to get as much experience as possible) and find the school that is really right for me. Not the school that worked out financially, seemed the safest, or the one closest to home (though these three things may surprisingly work out better in round two.)

Pursuing musical theatre is crazy. It's a hard thing to say, hey, guess what, I'm dropping everything at Rhodes to pursue my dreams of being on Broadway and now I'm taking classes at junior college. (Though hopefully from this blog you understand that's not what it's about)

And can we just take a second to observe the mascots I've gone through?

I was a crusader, a killer daisy, a lynx (the tiniest, most unintimidating wildcat EVER which would explain rhodes lack of prowess in sports, and a thunderduck now. Really?)

Anyway, I need happy thoughts, prayers, luck, advice, or whatever you're willing to give me. This is a pretty big deal for me. I feel good about this, but I still have moments of doubt and freakouts. To all the friends and family I've already talked to about this, I cannot begin to express how incredibly thankful I am for your endless support. You all have been amazing:)

The "My Cuticles Suck" and other Superficial Ramblings Post

As many of you know, I am a bit fashion obsessed. This obsession has waned slightly over the last year or so due to a couple of things:

one. Rhodes is basically a J Crew Ad (though, that said, it's a pretty affluent community so it's not like there's a shortage of really nice clothes)
two. I've been a bit...um...preoccupied with money issues.

Anyway, summertime is a lovely opportunity to get back in touch with this part of my life (the whole "fashion is art" thing) so while I was waiting for the July issue of VOGUE (which, for some reason, still hasn't arrived..hmm...might have to splurge for a copy) I picked up Teen Vogue. On the cover it mentioned that there was a story about Ali Michael getting kicked off of the runways because people said she was "too fat" in Paris as a size 0-2. While this doesn't surprise me, the article caught my attention. I'm a huge fan of Ali's--I have a really odd obsession with good eyebrows (probably because I have to spend such an extensive amount of time meticulously tending to my own) and hers are amazing. Ali's from Colleyville (and just graduated from Grapevine) and won the Kim Dawson Dallas Fashion Search in '06. Since then, she's done ridiculously well (as many KD models have) but at a ridiculous cost.

Look here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gDjc5h1VYe4&feature=related
to watch Ali in an interview.

Note: Anne doesn't let her talk enough, but Ali is remarkably well spoken and eloquent. It's a video worth watching.

On a different note, I've come to a realization (late, but not too late.) As I mentioned earlier, it's transition time. I don't know how this will manifest visibly in my life, but I need to focus these next six weeks on learning as much as I can. I have all the free time in the world and I need to use it wisely. I need to take as many lessons as I can, get the headshots, continue writing, read more, learn how to go about getting an agent, learn how to audition for tours, plan this fall, plan the spring, plan next summer, and determine where I need to be and when I need to be there. If any one has advice in any or all of these areas, I assure you that it's absolutely welcome so send your thoughts my way.

Things I Have Learned

1. Debt is your worst enemy. Paying it off is the best.
2. A ticket to NYC for five days in July is about $300. South Pacific cancellation tickets are $120. In The Heights Mez $40. All others are rush at 25. Room and board with friends/family: free.
3. Kelsey Edwards headshots: $400.
4. I absolutely cannot envision myself ever having children.
5. I always want to perform.
6. I will never stop being ambitious.
7. Someday I'm going to write a play, a book, a regular column in a magazine, and a musical.
8. Friends are the most important people in the world. You can find out who your true ones are at the most random times.
9. Auditions will always be the worst part of the job and I have to get over my fear of them. Not being called back for one show does not equate with failure. Failure is when you stop trying.
10. I go through periods of personal transition and growth in spurts every couple of years. That's where I'm at right now.

Lyrical HipHop

I lied. This is the last thing I want to talk about.

I LOVE lyrical hip hop. Tabitha and Napoleon are officially my favorite choreographers right now.

Observe:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dhF-g3pMhUw&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bv8XMUtan54&feature=related



Obsession.

Minimal Updates on Life:

Hey there, friends.

Here's a really condensed update on my life/goings-on:
1. Tonight is brush-up rehearsal for Damn Yankees. This means shenanigans and pranks will occur. Because the "six women+weston" have very little to do, we will be doing the most pranking. Get ready for some fun...
2. Most of my high school buddies are off and away now. While I predicted this to be the end of fun this summer, I realize I will have plenty of fun trying to make my way to NYC and frolicking with show friends.
3. I'm planning a LOT of things for the future and making some pretty huge life decisions. (I know, I know...I get annoyed when people freak out about the future to excess and here I am being a hypocrite) but if everyone could just send happy thoughts my way, it would be greatly appreciated!
4. We have another set of shows this weekend--come see Damn Yankees!
5. I watched the Prestige again today. It still plays with my head (anything involving cloning or time travel always twists my head into knots) but it's brilliant.


Well, that was shorter than anticipated. More updates later, I suppose!

Damn Yankees Opening Weekend

Damn Yankees has been an overwhelmingly positive experience. Due to the fact that I'm in about four scenes total, the "six women" (plus Rachel) have a lot of bonding time backstage. I have been so lucky to work with these girls--I've really made some fantastic friends through this all.


Anyway, I'm totally reassured that there are some wonderfully decent people in this world. That is all.

Finances, As Usual

I am, as ever, searching for a job (jobs, really) of sorts. Now that the show is opening, I'm becoming a bit frantic about sources of income throughout July and early August. (And now, I actually have time to work but no one who desires to hire me for a month and a half.)

If anyone has any jobs they need taken care of (house sitting, pet sitting, babysitting, a painter, personal shopper:), tap instructor, receptionist, anything) let me know! I would be more than happy to help with anything.


Thanks, friends!

(My email is genke@rhodes.edu)

Notes from the Tony Awards

1. I was 99% right about predictions:)
2. I want nothing more than to go to NYC and see South Pacific. Now. I am flat broke and I will spend any penny possible to see this show. You have no idea how strong this desire is.
3. I am in love with Paulo Szot and desire to have him sing me lullabies to sleep every night.
4. I have no doubt that Patti LuPone is one of the most talented performers of all time.
5. Whoopi is a really bizarre choice for emcee.
6. Sunday in the Park with George looks gorgeous and I have every desire to see it.
7. If I go to NYC, I will see:
- South Pacific
- Sunday in the Park with George
- In the Heights
- August: Osage County
- (gladly, if given the opportunity, Gypsy again.)

More later. Right now I'm just basking in the happiness of two beautifully done, classical musicals. Well done. I'm glad people can still enjoy timeless theatre.

I love showbiz. To quote Gene Kelley in Summer Stock, "there's nothing else in the world." That's all, folks.

A Cappella Frustrations [another rant]

Angst!

As you all may know, I've been plotting the beginnings of a co-ed a cappella group at Rhodes for some time now. I've had a desire to create something different--something new--something the college had not experienced previously. I desired to have a group with modern music, with people not exclusively from the music department. I didn't want it to be political or based on friendship ties. I wanted it to be based on talent.

Due to the fact that I have about two million other obligations next year, I began to ask around and find out who might want to run the group with me. I know I could easily run rehearsal, pick out music, pick the name, and run auditions. What I wanted was the a cappella equivalent of a "stage manager." I desired someone who could send out mass emails to the "cast," help make executive decisions, and help set up times and space for performances. Otherwise, I desired the group to largely be a democratic body. [In the last a cappella group I was in, we had some issues with the whole democracy thing...]

Once again, I'm having issues finding other people who are super gung-ho and want to start things up. [WHAT IS THIS?!] I initially found someone in my old a cappella group who was interested, but backed out early on because she was too involved in other things. (bah humbug.) Shortly thereafter, I found the most sublime, perfect person ever to help me. She was fantastically enthusiastic about music and very excited about the prospect of helping lead something. We were on board and ready to work throughout all of second semester--she drafted the constitution, I edited it, we both searched for music, and this continued into the summer. To the best of my knowledge, she's arranged about half of one song, I've arranged a couple and found sheet music for several (she's found sheet music for others as well.) Until this point, we'd only had a couple of mild tiffs and discrepancies. I wanted the group to be "Mixed Company" or something else remotely quirky, she wanted "Dynamics." The Dynamics was a cool enough name, so I dealt with it.

Confident and sure that we had a winning team to create a new a cappella group, I boldly quit my old one with my sights on a happier goal.

Unfortunately, when we had a chat last week, I realized that not only were we dealing with unrealistic illusions regarding our capabilities as a group, but also that she was less than confident about her abilities to lead the group.

While I find this to be completely bogus (she'd be perfect to help lead...), she's now saying that
a) she doesn't want to run the group
b) she doesn't want it to happen in the fall
c) she doesn't even necessarily know if it can happen in the spring.

well ho hum. I feel like this is Max Keebler's big move. I didn't even see that movie but I think about what I saw in the trailer frequently. This kid's parents decide to move, so he takes revenge on all the stupid bullies he had to deal with and does whatever he wants to, knowing that he's about to leave. Then his parents say they changed their minds. Oops. Then he's basically doomed.

I feel much like this. I set out all my obligations and preparations around this and it has fantastically and rather ungracefully fallen apart.

To be honest, I'm a little heartbroken.

Those closest to me know that I can't deal with not having a project of sorts--an outlet for my zeal. This was going to be my project for autumn, and I'm crestfallen that it won't happen anymore. I've been defeated. (Once again!)

Alas, there will be something else. I recently talked to Joel about the idea of doing Jason Robert Brown something-or-other in the fall, and right now he's saying he's 100% in. When he tries to back out this time, I've got written proof. These crazy Rhodents.

In the meantime, I've got some immediate goals.
a) pay back mother
b) go to NYC for birthday. see south pacific.
c) make JRB happen in the fall. make stellar grades. learn to be content.
d) study abroad in london
e) determine summer 09 plans--make them freaking awesome.
f) determine where I want to be in fall of 09--abroad? a different school? Rhodes?

Till then, I'll just be confused and angsty (this makes me sound awfully emo--I promise I'm a highly pleasant person most of the time) and blogging into cyberspace.

Yours truly,
Katharine

Suddenly...A Moment of Insanity

This whole past year has been a question of whether or not I really "fit in" at Rhodes. I know a fair number of people sharing similar sentiments regarding their choices of schools...The question is, if you were to even CONSIDER transferring, would you be able to find a better place?

Honestly, I don't know. If I wanted better Musical Theatre, I could go to OCU. However, I hate the location and the school itself isn't terribly impressive. I could go to UT for the huge size, for Austin, and for a greater diversity in the student population. They don't have a musical theatre major, though, so is it really what I want?

The more I read about liberal arts education, the better I feel about that part of my decision. However, I still feel as though my experience at Rhodes is lacking in a number of ways. One of my favorite, favorite castmates in Damn Yankees (Brenna Yeary) attended Randolph Macon Woman's College (now Randolph College) and she raved to me for a good twenty minutes about her unreal experience. The student teacher ratio 9:1, and they have all these crazy traditions and goofy days and (my personal favorite) secret societies.

Folks, I would love nothing more than to either a) be in a secret society b) start one. Obviously, since I'm broadcasting this information on my blog, I do not have one and cannot start one, but in my wildest dreams I would love nothing more. Brenna went on for ages about how fantastic the student population was and how even though it's now co-ed the guys are different--it definitely takes a certain kind of guy to be interested in what was recently an all women's college.

On a similar note, Brenna (can you tell I've found a minor role model?) studied abroad in England for a year and had the time of her life. This is wonderful news, considering I desperately desire to go second semester next year. The only thing that slightly worries me is that she has such an unbelievably positive outlook on life. You know how I always talk about how I love experiences and opportunities and like to think I'm pretty darn appreciative of them? Take that appreciation and multiply it by a thousand and you are sort of near the range of Brenna's enthusiasm. It makes it difficult for me to believe that she could find any experience negative.

Regardless, she got to talking about the "European attitude." [Keep in mind I'm constantly with five other girls--one of whom is married and has a child, but the others are all single, so boys tend to come up a fair amount.] Apparently English men (the way she tells it) simply have a different attitude altogether and an astounding confidence lacking in American men (and women for that matter.) The way she depicted it, men there can sense an energy about a woman, pick up on it (whether they think they have a chance with her or not) and just go right up and talk to her. Fancy that. And they have great hair. And dress well (without being constantly referred to as 'gay'!)

Anyway, all this talk about small schools, incredible educations (and the value of a good education), secret societies, and confident boys led me to one place this evening. And that place was youtube. (Surprised, anyone?) But do you know what movie I searched for? I bet you can guess...

Dead Poets Society.

This combination of confidence, secret societies, love of learning, and study abroad for some bizarre reason makes me want to hop on a plane to the Northeast and find some crazy women's school and join secret societies that have no sororities, no boys, no ridiculous cowboy hats, and produces people like Hilary Clinton and Katharine Hepburn. This sounds quite fabulous right now.

In all honesty, I think I could probably push myself to go to a women's college (even after 6 years of Hockaday) particularly since my opinion of men (pathetically enough) has plummeted further since my acquaintance with fraternity slobs and the boys who will undoubtedly invent something and make millions but in the meantime spend all their free time playing World of Warcraft in their rooms for hours. (Of course there are the gay ones, who for the most part are completely pleasant and who I seem to readily befriend in a matter of seconds) Still, the thought of finding nice, decent guys who have an appreciation for the arts and are still relatively well dressed and desire to be friends with me still remains a part of my vision for life so I guess I'll keep on with my coeducation:) (Ha, did you really think I could do single sex? Please...)

I am wishy washy. And confused. And frustrated. I want a big city and a school with diversity, but I want a crazy creative vibrant community. Does this even exist?

On an entirely separate note, I've found a delightfully large number of kids in this show (and others) who had nothing to do with being a music or theatre major at their schools. They've majored in everything from engineering, education, english, history, premed, and foreign language.

The actual theatre part of the education I could receive elsewhere might surpass Rhodes, but I'd rather be a well educated person who becomes a good actress than a decent actress whose one in a million but can't speak intelligently. Know what I mean?

This is another rant/ramble that's probably entirely incoherent, but it's got my juices flowing. (And it has my appreciation for liberal arts boosted to an extreme) So here's to Brenna.

And now I shall sleep. Good night.

So You Think You Can Dance

Watch it this season--I'm in love with about half of the cast (particularly Will.)


Pointless post! Apologies!

Seriously?

The best they can do is ensure public transportation by the time I'm 41?

I had so much faith in Dallas! Let's get a move on!

Kelli O'Hara

I love to hate you.

She's 32 and she couldn't possibly be more amazing.

Current unrealistic goal: make it to NYC for my birthday and see South Pacific.

I'll need LOTS of luck for this one to happen!!!!

Ramblings Regarding Passion

If Hockaday graduates ran the nation, we would be unstoppable.

Or doomed to total demolition.

I know none of you were worried, but Bayla and I eased beautifully back into our usual routine of spending an inordinate amount of time with one another, mild bickering, soul-searching-what-we-think-is-deep-but-is-probably-just-residue-teen-angst conversations, obsession over art, dance, and passion, and incessant giggle fits (often over nothing.) Sorry if I made you vomit from that verbal Hallmark card I just poured on you guys, but I missed my best friend. It happens. I dearly love my friends in Memphis (and absolutely see potential for similar relationships), but there is always something about the comfort of an old friend. They know you in a way that no one else could—and Bay and I went through oodles and oodles of nonsense together. Anyway, last night we were just chatting and gabbing about nonsense (Obama v. Hilary, vice presidency, etc) and ended up (somewhat unnaturally—since somehow the presence of college has evaporated from our friendship) talking about frustrations with school. I talked to an old friend on AIM yesterday (a really random occurrence since we hadn’t spoken since high school graduation) and she told me she hated her school. Full on loathed it. And I asked her if she was staying and she said yes because of scholarship money and networking opportunities. She complained just as much as (if not more) than everyone else at Hockaday about the obscene expectations of being a daisy, rigorous academics, and absurd competition. But yesterday she admitted that she absolutely missed the Hockaday teachers and students—crazy though they may be.

I doubt any of us would ever go back. I legitimately feel nauseous thinking about donning the green and white plaid, saddle oxfords, and sticky blazer—preparing for another terrifying routine of oh-how-did-I-screw-up-today? But at the same time, hindsight’s 20/20. I have been completely lucky and blessed at Rhodes professor-wise. Generally speaking, I’ve had more wonderful professors than not, and the ones that I love, I adore. However, something I have learned as of late is:

The world is not full of Hockadaisies. The students and companions I had at Hockaday were people I can’t find anywhere else. I could probably find people who individually possessed traits similar to my classmates, but I doubt I will ever be with the whole package: heiresses to a million huge corporations and businesses, girls who put on full scale productions and dance shows, the same number of driven athletes, internationally recognized models, junior Olympians, etc.

And this is probably a good thing.

By the same token, we were absolutely spoiled. Hockaday is social Darwinism. The weak are weeded out by high school, and any kids who come in ninth grade better figure out fast whether they’ll make it or not (and they do.) When Beth (Wortley) and I were discussing this at breakfast, she noted that not all hockaday girls were geniuses who worked hard, but then quickly retracted that statement with “Then again, compared to the rest of the world even the ‘slackers’ are pretty brilliant.” And it’s totally true.

This is by no means a knock against Rhodes. Rhodes professors have been some of the most intelligent people I’ve ever encountered. And there are SO many people at Rhodes smarter than I am. And there are plenty of people with far more talent in every imaginable arena.

What I haven’t found is the same surplus of is drive and ambition. At Hockaday, you survive on hope. You make good grades in middle school and find an extracurricular you are passionate about and can thrive in. You take SAT prep. You start high school. You fall flat on your face but you pick yourself up and you sure as heck better know who you are fast. Find your identity. Then start selling that identity to colleges. Get ready for college and network while you can. Go to college. Make connections. Get internships. Get ready for grad school. Go to grad school to get a job. Get a job to make money and work your way up in whatever field you (essentially) chose or discovered in middle school.

This, naturally, is hyperbole. (Isn’t everything here?) But put bluntly, that’s how we’re crafted. We’re crafted to speak eloquently, speak our minds, know exactly what we think about everything (meanwhile remaining more or less open minded) and above all, TAKE EVERY OPPORTUNITY YOU ARE GIVEN.

At Rhodes, I jumped into everything head on—expecting the same amount of competition and struggle to succeed in extracurriculars. I found that—contrary to Hockaday where very tiny thing is a struggle—they were happy to load on responsibility and power to those who truly yearned for it. Unfortunately, this left me with about five hundred activities and no time.

In these activities, I found much frustration. CODA was one of the most delightful things about Rhodes, but many of the kids underappreciated the program. This was completely infuriating. Not only were we given a scholarship for mere passion and a measly 10 hours a week of arts activity, but also we were given trips (where we networked and met millions of fantastic arts folk) and weekly workshops about arts advocacy and administration. I became so frustrated and discouraged by my companions who complained about weekly blog entries (let’s be honest: I love the blog) and “required trips” to Chicago that I got bogged down and less excited about the program in general. Can these people be built up to work hard and find that ambition and drive? Or should the program just have different people all together?

In my a cappella group, we spent hours upon hours working on SEVENTEEN different songs that all ended up sounding pathetic and miserable. Was it because we weren’t talented? I doubt it. Individually, we were all pretty strong singers. It’s because it wasn’t run effectively so no one cared.

In student government, my committee leader made no effort to genuinely seem passionate about anything we were doing. Why would we work hard and enthusiastically if they didn’t give us reason to?

Everything is treated as a burden or required task. Why can’t they appreciate these things as opportunities? EVERYTHING is an opportunity! Everything is an experience!

When I told the kids at Hockaday that I was going to take on a full scale musical and spend every waking hour pouring my life into it, I was thanked and lauded for that experience that I was “giving” to them. I largely cast underclassmen who hadn’t had leads before and then had the opportunity to take on something a bit bigger. We ended up having 40 kids in cast and crew (after having 60+ audition.) I found two remarkably talented individuals at Rhodes (both involved with the music department and potential music majors) who I would love to put in a show together. The guy’s favorite musical was The Last Five Years (a show I directed in my junior year of high school) and the girl recently became acquainted (and enamoured) with it. I told them I’d love nothing more than to direct them. While both of them were enthusiastic, neither of them were ever willing to start a rehearsal time. They complained that they were involved in too much (2 activities each.)

You make time for the things you love. It’s like working out. You go when you can. You make time. If it’s important to you, you’ll wake up an hour earlier and start your day off right. If you want to be in a show and you are already going mad, you drop something else or you learn to manage time differently.

I have to work now, but I’ll continue this post later!

Dallas Arts District

Why the Dallas Arts District Will Be Awesome:

Dallas Arts District Timeline

10 Things

1. Obama. Heck yes.
2. Reasons to Be Pretty-- Neil LaBute's new piece. Must see it. Pronto.
3. Damn Yankees-- I'm totally insignificant, but I'm having a lovely time with the show, and it's going to be great.
4. Pearce High School's Miss Saigon -- Makes me depressed. Elizabeth Judd is phenomenal.
5. Passing Strange -- A strong contender for best musical. So WHY can't I like it? On that same note...
6. In The Heights -- I don't like it either. I'm sure I'll take this back later. maybe. I'm exceptionally unexcited about the Tony's this year. Other than Gypsy/South Pacific I don't particularly care about much.
7.Really, RENT? Give it up. Seriously. You can tour for a million years until everyone realizes it's a really poorly written show with catchy rock music. Mmkay?
8. Saved The Musical -- Looks awful. Described as "Legally Blonde" for Jesus freaks. Does not sound like a winner. Can you tell that I'm REALLY frustrated with the musical theatre world right now?
9. Science of Sarcasm -- Love it.
10. Are Blogs Bad for Us


Comments?

The Best is Yet to Come and Babe, Won't it Be Fine

On Independence

Friends, I need to be independent. The time has come. If I weren't completely financially unstable, I would move this instant and purchase a box somewhere to live in. I think I've been ready to be out on my own for quite some time (and promptly get my butt kicked by "real life") and I am just about to go crazy. My sister finished school yesterday. I love my sister. Really, I do. But after a year with two roommates in a small capacity, I fully embraced having this home to myself. It was my happy time; I wasn't even here that often. However, when I was home, I could sing or write freely. I could choreograph. I could chill and veg and watch TV. My sister has decided to set up her camp again in our "playroom" (which I feel like we should probably graduate to a guest room at this point since Abby and I are both on our way out of adolescence/teendom) with soda, pirouette cookies, and magazines. She expects full control over TV, her room, and music in the house. Additionally, she's been on the phone (she's an alto with impressive breath control so her voice carries) for a good hour busily chatting with friends whilst romping around the house. This is normal. It's her first day out of school, she's happy as a clown, and she wants to enjoy it. That's fantastic, but I want to clean and listen to Judy Garland, eat my lovely daily lunch salad, practice voice, choreograph, and then write a bit. I've been spoiled this last month having my own space, and I already miss it. I'm a really ADD person, and sound (any form of music in general) is something I am highly sensitive to.

This is not a rant about siblings or frustration with home, this is a way of saying I am ready to live on my own. Bsaically, it's rather a plea to the gods above to bless me magically with a winning lottery number, more talent, and a box in New York or London where I can live debt-free like a church mouse.

The real issue here is that I need to be able to spend next summer in another big city--either out on my own or with a couple of roommates. Problem is, mother is once again threatening for me not to have a car at school this year. The consequence of this is I won't have a job. The consequence of not having a job means no income. No income means debt. Debt means I'm shipped back home next summer. You see, it is a difficult cycle--one which I do not know how to fix.

On Gas and Mass Public Transportation
And can we just pause for a second and talk about the absurd gas prices? What is going on? (Yeah, I know "recession" aka nice word for "deperession" or "economical decline" or whatever silly label they're slapping on it...) Can the world PLEASE just put energy efficient, environmentally friendly mass public transportation everywhere? Or at least in every major city? Dallas is slowly, but surely getting a clue. The DART trains have, in recent years, not been used too much by the general populous. However, at rehearsal last night (oh, I do need to mention that, don't I?) several people mentioned they were taking the train to get down here, which was neat. The problem is that Dallas is way more massive than people realize, and while the DART is undergoing expansion (thank heavens) there are still a lot of dots to connect before Dallasites can consider it a primary form of transportation (that is, unless you live downtown/uptown.)

On Dallas Being Freaking Awesome
I am totally enamored of Dallas right now. 100%. Dallas Arts District is going to be pretty much the coolest thing since sliced bread. I made a contact where I thought (for a while) I might have some sort of internship down there. However, after the initial phone call, I had no response to my subsequent phone calls. (Maybe next summer? If I have to be here?) Uptown is amazing. West Village is awesome. Downtown is starting to actually FEEL like a downtown. We have amazing venues down there---everything from American Airlines to the House of Blues. Even Fair Park is becoming a really cute area with fun boutiques. (This is a nice alternative to having to review my self defense skills every time I exited the Music Hall.) It's so interesting to me that our nation is in huge financial decline while Dallas is (oddly enough) getting cooler and expanding daily. Ten years ago (yes, I know I was eight so what did I know?) I never would have wanted to live in Dallas. I would have said there was nothing to do and it was silly. Now, I can actually envision myself living here at some point. Granted, I don't want to live here right after college and I do want to explore other places, but it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world.

"The Living Room" (or something like that...)
I just had this brilliant idea. I need to own a coffeeshop/boutique. How do you just start up a coffeeshop? How can anything survive in the Starbucksopolis? I would want live artists to play there and I think I'd want it to be comfortable above being chic. Maybe it could be a coffeeshop during the day and more of a lounge at night...Hmm... Does anyone just get together with their friends after college and rent a box of space to host a coffeeshop in? I could have more indie/folk bands and artists (that's probably what I'd get for the most part) but maybe I could have cabaret evenings on like Thursday and Sunday or maybe the occasional Saturday. However, that would necessitate a piano--though I could just get a cheap standup--ask some of my friends to perform standards/cabaret numbers....Hm. Or, I could even broaden it. It could just be a hangout place/coffeshop. There'd be bookshelves and funky wallpaper, amazing rugs--and great couches and chairs. I could call it "The Living Room" (though no one would know what that would mean, exactly...) What city would I want to try this in? Dallas? Memphis? (eh...) New York? (There's probably a million things like this in New York...still...) Boston? Chicago?

If anyone steals my brilliant plan I might hurt you. I'm getting kind of attached.

What do you guys think?

On Sex and the City
Sex and the City (the TV show) officially began ten years ago in 1998. I was nine years old. Supposedly, at the time, the show was only a mild hit. However, due to TBS re-runs and the fact that the writing is still so incredibly funny and genuine (and that those archetypal women have not been so artfully, successfully, or brilliantly re-written in any other TV show since) the show's turned into a phenomenon. I think I was introduced sophomore or junior year in high school. I love, love, love Sex and the City. Is it anywhere from mildly to obscenely inappropriate? On occasion (okay, maybe a little more frequently than that...) yes. (However, language/all nudity is edited out on TBS shows so I'm familiar with a tamer version.) But do I completely empathize with various plights of Charlotte's naivite and desire for more conventional romance? Yes. Do I deeply desire to be the ultimate gutsy fashionista/New York City columnist like Carrie who is pursued by Big, Aiden (he was the one she should have gone for...), and Baryshnikov? Yes. Do I envy Samantha's confidence and bold loyalty towards her friends? Yes. And do I relate fully to Miranda's cynicism, sarcasm, dark wit, ambition, and trust issues? Certainly. Every woman (and the occasional gay man) relates in one way or another to these women. The show isn't just about sex. If you want to watch a show about sex, watch the Real World, those obscene reality shows with Tila Tequila and other cocktail beverage pornstars turned into reality dreamgirls, and soaps. Sex is handled more casually in shows like One Tree Hill, the OC, and Grey's Anatomy than it is in Sex and the City. Furthermore, it's not a persuasive argument for women to be promiscuous. Three of the four women (sorry for the spoiler but it's your fault for not seeing the movie at midnight) end up in either marriages or long-term commitments. Just because the word "sex" is in the title does not mean that's all the show has to offer. It wouldn't be as popular or successful if the characters and storyline weren't so strong and relatable.

Anyway, I visited IMDb.com's message boards over the past couple of days to get a taste of what the movie might be like. 3.4. 3.4 of 10 stars. I was appalled. Even Santa Clause kills the Martians has a higher rating than that. Mediocre chick flicks generally end up in the 5's, and since I know the writing was better than that, I expected at least around a 7.0. Then, I scrolled down to the Message Boards. Oh man. What IS it with straight men and this movie? Why are they so remarkably insecure and confused by female dominance and power that they spend hours on a message board bashing a movie they haven't even seen? Seriously, there are hundreds of men posting on these boards bashing the film. It's the most ridiculous thing I've ever seen. Naturally, I checked the breakdown of votes. Of all the men who voted, the score was a 2.4. For women, it was more in the 7 range. And of the top voters on IMDb, the film was in the 6 range. The thing that gets me even more than insecure men expressing frustration with the movie is women who haven't seen a single show in their lives and think it's degrading to women. Gracious, girls. Sit in front of the TV and watch a show. These are strong women. The whole point is that that men are not the only vital part of life. At the same time, they aren't treated as expendable. All of these women want relationships.

Anyway, I'm getting absurdly hyped up about this (After all, it is just a movie) but stop bashing Sex and the City. It's smart. It's funny. It empowers women. It has incredible fashion. It has a great story.

And, as a really REALLY amusing sidenote, there's a scene in Cabo in the movie. It is the exact private resort we stayed in for Allie's graduation last summer. Bayla, Allie, and I nearly died laughing last night as we kept pointing out different places we'd been in Cabo. It was relatively surreal. It was a taste of the Sex and the City lifestyle. (That's probably why I loved Cabo so much...Okay, well maybe it was more the company but the scenery certainly helped:)


Enough Ranting: Damn Yankees
Yankees has been great thus far. I'm one of six girls in the ensemble and we all have a blast together. It's a small but very talented cast. The show isn't my favorite, but it's by no means a dud. It's SO much more relaxed than Millie, but I love that. I miss having my butt kicked by a musical, but this break is pretty welcome. Next show I do better be intense, though... Anyway, come see it. Shows start June 20th.

Job hunt is ridiculous. I've had five or six interviews and turned in well over 20 applications. Basically, babysitting seems to be the most fun and reliable way to make money--especially since I can't work in the evenings.

Well, this is excessively long and I have a room to clean so I wish you all a lovely weekend. Cheers!