I think I was a relatively remarkable little kid. I was a total weirdo, not terribly charming or attractive, but smart enough. And creative enough. For instance: I played a game in second grade called "Boy of the Day" where I would line the boys up against the cafeteria wall, spin in a circle with my eyes closed, and whoever I landed on got to eat lunch with me. For an unattractive kid, creating a competition gameshow out of lunch was a pretty swell idea. Another instance: my friend Roseanne and I used to host a talk show in the ladies lounge (code for fancy useless sitting area of the bathroom) in Parrish Hall in elementary school. We discussed all sorts of issues, but most of what I recall had to do with art and boys.
Not much has changed.
Okay, maybe a lot has. But in so many ways, the trajectory of my life is completely predictable and totally unsurprising.
For those of you who don't know (and I haven't the foggiest idea why I am sharing this with you) I went by the nickname "Katie Beth" for the first eighteen years of my life. I utterly abhor this name. Though my mother will argue otherwise, I have loathed this name for as long as I can remember, and started going by my legitimate full name (...Katharine) as soon as humanly possible (college.)
Katie Beth was far more precocious than Katharine. She was also more ambitious. Katie Beth would be utterly depressed by the state 22 year old Katharine has. First of all, being 22 never really occurred to Katie Beth. KB (as she was and is still known by some closest and oldest friends/family) desperately yearned to be older and fabulous, but exceeding 21 wasn't necessarily a part of that plan. KB also would have written a book by now and had way more money than 22 year old Katharine has.
Let's take an inventory of what little KB would think of my current life status, shall we?
Katharine joined a sorority. #kbfail
Katharine left an arts admin scholarship #kbfail
Katharine currently lives at home #kbfail
Katharine is not famous, nor is especially good at any singular thing #kbfail
Katharine thought college was disappointing #kbfail
Katharine tried acting #mediocre
Katharine tried her hand at theater in Dallas #chorusgirlwin
Katharine is still a chorus girl #kbfail
Katharine isn't ballsy enough to move to New York, even though that's been a dream for over a decade #kbfail
Katharine has met amazing people #kbwin
Katharine is single, focused, and driven #kbwin
Katharine leaves Wednesday to do a show in the Northeast #kbwin
Katharine no longer plays boy of the day #growingup
Katharine is doing the best she can #reality
3 comments:
Weird: I just read this: http://hellogiggles.com/single-girls-guide-17 and thought it was awesome. And then I read this (as in, your post) and thought of the article I just read mere seconds before. Win for coincidence.
Where are you doing a show in the northeast? I moved up here a few weeks ago, and if you're close, I would love to see you!
Also, move to NYC next August. We could be roommates :)
Love the article that Sarah posted! (Hi, Sarah!)
Okay...I am going to be brutally honest. Ready?
I loved Katie Beth because she was my big sister who always seemed to have a far more interesting life than I did. I assumed she really was awesome because she often told me so. She also told me things like I was supposed to be a boy but God changed his mind at the last minute, she would be prettier in college because I liked to drink milk and she liked water, and she was going to be a famous singer because she had big lips and I didn't (I tried to insult you and somehow I solidified your career instead...). Katie Beth and tiny Abby usually only talked when their paths crossed when getting ready in their shared bathroom or when tiny Abby was pestering Katie Beth for attention. I loved Katie Beth because she was my sister.
But I love Katharine because she is a beautiful person, a supportive sister, and my good friend. Though the fact that we don't share a bathroom any more may help my viewpoint, I much prefer Katharine.
I don't love Katharine because it is so fun to see her in shows or because she is so brilliant or because of her good taste in clothes. These are all just perks. I love Katharine because she was the person who taught me how important it was to be myself and follow my bliss and she inspires me everyday to be brave.
Katharine is a much braver, more confident, less cocky, better friend, and more loving sister than Katie Beth was. I will always love precocious Katie Beth and smile when I think of her crazy antics. But I will always respect and admire Katharine.
I love being your cheerleader and Mom's co-captain of the Katharine fan club. I will continue to be your cheerleader forever, I promise. But at some point, you are going to have to get better about cheering yourself on. Don't be like the girls who call themselves fat just to hear someone tell them they're not. Remember that being modest does not mean being self-deprecating and being confident does not mean being cocky or braggadocios. If you ever need a confidence boost, call me. But, please, don't talk about Katharine like this. She is my sister and the only one allowed to mess with her is me.
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