The Best is Yet to Come and Babe, Won't it Be Fine

On Independence

Friends, I need to be independent. The time has come. If I weren't completely financially unstable, I would move this instant and purchase a box somewhere to live in. I think I've been ready to be out on my own for quite some time (and promptly get my butt kicked by "real life") and I am just about to go crazy. My sister finished school yesterday. I love my sister. Really, I do. But after a year with two roommates in a small capacity, I fully embraced having this home to myself. It was my happy time; I wasn't even here that often. However, when I was home, I could sing or write freely. I could choreograph. I could chill and veg and watch TV. My sister has decided to set up her camp again in our "playroom" (which I feel like we should probably graduate to a guest room at this point since Abby and I are both on our way out of adolescence/teendom) with soda, pirouette cookies, and magazines. She expects full control over TV, her room, and music in the house. Additionally, she's been on the phone (she's an alto with impressive breath control so her voice carries) for a good hour busily chatting with friends whilst romping around the house. This is normal. It's her first day out of school, she's happy as a clown, and she wants to enjoy it. That's fantastic, but I want to clean and listen to Judy Garland, eat my lovely daily lunch salad, practice voice, choreograph, and then write a bit. I've been spoiled this last month having my own space, and I already miss it. I'm a really ADD person, and sound (any form of music in general) is something I am highly sensitive to.

This is not a rant about siblings or frustration with home, this is a way of saying I am ready to live on my own. Bsaically, it's rather a plea to the gods above to bless me magically with a winning lottery number, more talent, and a box in New York or London where I can live debt-free like a church mouse.

The real issue here is that I need to be able to spend next summer in another big city--either out on my own or with a couple of roommates. Problem is, mother is once again threatening for me not to have a car at school this year. The consequence of this is I won't have a job. The consequence of not having a job means no income. No income means debt. Debt means I'm shipped back home next summer. You see, it is a difficult cycle--one which I do not know how to fix.

On Gas and Mass Public Transportation
And can we just pause for a second and talk about the absurd gas prices? What is going on? (Yeah, I know "recession" aka nice word for "deperession" or "economical decline" or whatever silly label they're slapping on it...) Can the world PLEASE just put energy efficient, environmentally friendly mass public transportation everywhere? Or at least in every major city? Dallas is slowly, but surely getting a clue. The DART trains have, in recent years, not been used too much by the general populous. However, at rehearsal last night (oh, I do need to mention that, don't I?) several people mentioned they were taking the train to get down here, which was neat. The problem is that Dallas is way more massive than people realize, and while the DART is undergoing expansion (thank heavens) there are still a lot of dots to connect before Dallasites can consider it a primary form of transportation (that is, unless you live downtown/uptown.)

On Dallas Being Freaking Awesome
I am totally enamored of Dallas right now. 100%. Dallas Arts District is going to be pretty much the coolest thing since sliced bread. I made a contact where I thought (for a while) I might have some sort of internship down there. However, after the initial phone call, I had no response to my subsequent phone calls. (Maybe next summer? If I have to be here?) Uptown is amazing. West Village is awesome. Downtown is starting to actually FEEL like a downtown. We have amazing venues down there---everything from American Airlines to the House of Blues. Even Fair Park is becoming a really cute area with fun boutiques. (This is a nice alternative to having to review my self defense skills every time I exited the Music Hall.) It's so interesting to me that our nation is in huge financial decline while Dallas is (oddly enough) getting cooler and expanding daily. Ten years ago (yes, I know I was eight so what did I know?) I never would have wanted to live in Dallas. I would have said there was nothing to do and it was silly. Now, I can actually envision myself living here at some point. Granted, I don't want to live here right after college and I do want to explore other places, but it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world.

"The Living Room" (or something like that...)
I just had this brilliant idea. I need to own a coffeeshop/boutique. How do you just start up a coffeeshop? How can anything survive in the Starbucksopolis? I would want live artists to play there and I think I'd want it to be comfortable above being chic. Maybe it could be a coffeeshop during the day and more of a lounge at night...Hmm... Does anyone just get together with their friends after college and rent a box of space to host a coffeeshop in? I could have more indie/folk bands and artists (that's probably what I'd get for the most part) but maybe I could have cabaret evenings on like Thursday and Sunday or maybe the occasional Saturday. However, that would necessitate a piano--though I could just get a cheap standup--ask some of my friends to perform standards/cabaret numbers....Hm. Or, I could even broaden it. It could just be a hangout place/coffeshop. There'd be bookshelves and funky wallpaper, amazing rugs--and great couches and chairs. I could call it "The Living Room" (though no one would know what that would mean, exactly...) What city would I want to try this in? Dallas? Memphis? (eh...) New York? (There's probably a million things like this in New York...still...) Boston? Chicago?

If anyone steals my brilliant plan I might hurt you. I'm getting kind of attached.

What do you guys think?

On Sex and the City
Sex and the City (the TV show) officially began ten years ago in 1998. I was nine years old. Supposedly, at the time, the show was only a mild hit. However, due to TBS re-runs and the fact that the writing is still so incredibly funny and genuine (and that those archetypal women have not been so artfully, successfully, or brilliantly re-written in any other TV show since) the show's turned into a phenomenon. I think I was introduced sophomore or junior year in high school. I love, love, love Sex and the City. Is it anywhere from mildly to obscenely inappropriate? On occasion (okay, maybe a little more frequently than that...) yes. (However, language/all nudity is edited out on TBS shows so I'm familiar with a tamer version.) But do I completely empathize with various plights of Charlotte's naivite and desire for more conventional romance? Yes. Do I deeply desire to be the ultimate gutsy fashionista/New York City columnist like Carrie who is pursued by Big, Aiden (he was the one she should have gone for...), and Baryshnikov? Yes. Do I envy Samantha's confidence and bold loyalty towards her friends? Yes. And do I relate fully to Miranda's cynicism, sarcasm, dark wit, ambition, and trust issues? Certainly. Every woman (and the occasional gay man) relates in one way or another to these women. The show isn't just about sex. If you want to watch a show about sex, watch the Real World, those obscene reality shows with Tila Tequila and other cocktail beverage pornstars turned into reality dreamgirls, and soaps. Sex is handled more casually in shows like One Tree Hill, the OC, and Grey's Anatomy than it is in Sex and the City. Furthermore, it's not a persuasive argument for women to be promiscuous. Three of the four women (sorry for the spoiler but it's your fault for not seeing the movie at midnight) end up in either marriages or long-term commitments. Just because the word "sex" is in the title does not mean that's all the show has to offer. It wouldn't be as popular or successful if the characters and storyline weren't so strong and relatable.

Anyway, I visited IMDb.com's message boards over the past couple of days to get a taste of what the movie might be like. 3.4. 3.4 of 10 stars. I was appalled. Even Santa Clause kills the Martians has a higher rating than that. Mediocre chick flicks generally end up in the 5's, and since I know the writing was better than that, I expected at least around a 7.0. Then, I scrolled down to the Message Boards. Oh man. What IS it with straight men and this movie? Why are they so remarkably insecure and confused by female dominance and power that they spend hours on a message board bashing a movie they haven't even seen? Seriously, there are hundreds of men posting on these boards bashing the film. It's the most ridiculous thing I've ever seen. Naturally, I checked the breakdown of votes. Of all the men who voted, the score was a 2.4. For women, it was more in the 7 range. And of the top voters on IMDb, the film was in the 6 range. The thing that gets me even more than insecure men expressing frustration with the movie is women who haven't seen a single show in their lives and think it's degrading to women. Gracious, girls. Sit in front of the TV and watch a show. These are strong women. The whole point is that that men are not the only vital part of life. At the same time, they aren't treated as expendable. All of these women want relationships.

Anyway, I'm getting absurdly hyped up about this (After all, it is just a movie) but stop bashing Sex and the City. It's smart. It's funny. It empowers women. It has incredible fashion. It has a great story.

And, as a really REALLY amusing sidenote, there's a scene in Cabo in the movie. It is the exact private resort we stayed in for Allie's graduation last summer. Bayla, Allie, and I nearly died laughing last night as we kept pointing out different places we'd been in Cabo. It was relatively surreal. It was a taste of the Sex and the City lifestyle. (That's probably why I loved Cabo so much...Okay, well maybe it was more the company but the scenery certainly helped:)


Enough Ranting: Damn Yankees
Yankees has been great thus far. I'm one of six girls in the ensemble and we all have a blast together. It's a small but very talented cast. The show isn't my favorite, but it's by no means a dud. It's SO much more relaxed than Millie, but I love that. I miss having my butt kicked by a musical, but this break is pretty welcome. Next show I do better be intense, though... Anyway, come see it. Shows start June 20th.

Job hunt is ridiculous. I've had five or six interviews and turned in well over 20 applications. Basically, babysitting seems to be the most fun and reliable way to make money--especially since I can't work in the evenings.

Well, this is excessively long and I have a room to clean so I wish you all a lovely weekend. Cheers!

Another Short Post

I'm obsessed with Tina Fey. And 30 Rock.

Sorry that I'm now writing two sentence posts. My brain is apparently now experiencing a permanent brain fart since it's summer.

Hopefully, my occasionally witty but usually just lame and boring jargon babble will return soon.

Career

I want to be a Broadway producer.

The main issue is: I have no idea how to go about doing this. If anyone reading this knows a producer or knows anything about it (or what I need to major in to do this or what school I should transfer to in order to make the right connections) please, please email me.


On a totally random note, today was a positively lovely day. I spent a splendid hour or two with Grandmama. It totally brightened my day.

Oh, American Theatre Wing...

Tony Noms are out. Sharpen those claws, little divas--it's going to be an interesting show.

I feel like the ATW is predictable in a certain sense: favor the more controversial/message-sending production, kick out the overly glossy/overly hyped up shows, and honor those that fall in between.

I can't decide if I wished I had seen In the Heights or not when I went to NYC. If I go in July to visit Bay (relatively unlikely, but one can always hope...) I'll have to see it. I just can't get myself to like it from the clips I've seen and heard. It seems like Latino RENT 2.0, with the addition of better choreography and a better book. Angsty lower class New Yorkers join together to rap/hip-hop out some quasi musical theatre/quasi top 40 hit sounding music to slap a message in your face. I can appreciate it as a period piece (the period being the present) and I can appreciate the book, but I simply do not like the music and (being more of a musician than an actress) I can't applaud the Tonys for favoring the theatre so greatly over the music in Broadway shows.

I know what you're thinking: BUT YOU LIKED SPRING AWAKENING! Yes, I did. In fact, I loved Spring Awakening. But it wasn't just a controversial message. It wasn't just a slap in the face. It was a beautifully told story with incredible choreography and beautiful, beautiful music. Sure, it was written by a should-have-been rockstar. But he did a great job. There's a difference...

Anyway, here are my thoughts about the rest of it:

I'm completely depressed about all of the Best Musical nominations. Cry-Baby seems only mediocre, Passing Strange sounds incredible but is NOT something I want for Best Musical--If you look at the winners of the "Best Musical" since the first Tony awards, they are all recognizable names. They're usually the most popular musicals of all time. Like I said, I'm not crazy about In the Heights--but I think they'll get it.

Passing Strange or In the Heights will get best book.

Gypsy BETTER get best revival or I am out to get the American Theatre Wing. Don't make me angry. I'm sure South Pacific is beautifully done. Trust me, I love Kelli O'Hara. But Patti LuPone deserves this. Boyd Gaines deserves this. And Laura Benanti DEFINITELY deserves this.

Lin Manuel Miranda or Stew will get Best Actor.

Patti LuPone MUST get Best Actress. She has to. I might actually cry if she doesn't.

I'm pretty indifferent about Featured Actor, but I desperately want Laura Benanti to get Best Featured Actress.

Scene Design to ITH or South Pacific.

Costume to ITH or Sunday in the Park

Lighting to Mermaid or South Pacific

I desperately want Gypsy to get Best Direction, though ITH of course is it's top competitor.

I'm positively giddy that Little Mermaid only had 2 noms and Xanadu 4, but it makes me nervous that South Pacific garnered more than Gypsy. I'm much more concerned about Revivals than Originals this year, which is interesting.

June 15th will be pretty darn exciting...

Bonjour, Monsieur Soleil!!

Summer has arrived.

Hence the return of blogging neglect.

Hence the return of happiness, sunshine, musical theatre, and the comfort of old friends.

I was more or less content at Rhodes by the end of spring semester, but had deluded myself into thinking that I was happier there than I was at home. I was wrong.

That isn't to say that I didn't make incredible friends at Rhodes and haven't had a splendid time. There have been easily as many wonderful times as bad ones, but anyone who knows me also knows that I'm a highly critical human being and for me to say that I am "happy" is pretty miraculous. In Dallas, I am happy. Something I should also recognize, however, is that in high school I wasn't always happy. I like to sugarcoat the hockadays; trust me, it was anything but an easy ride. Nonetheless, the last two years were pretty incredible and last summer I literally had the time of my life. So, freshman year had a lot to live up to. I'd just had an amazing summer, life had gotten progressively better from junior year upwards, and everyone said that college was EVEN BETTER.

Due to the lack of a car, shock of the college social life (particularly at Rhodes), frustration with the arts, emphasis of the Greek system, and return to a feeling of confinement in a bubble [my friends keep talking about their best friends from college being from Croatia, Argentina, and Japan, and I really begin to miss the diversity I had in high school...], that euphoria of summer began to slip away. I had a good year and incredible opportunities. I went to Dallas, Chicago, and New York. As I've mentioned two hundred times before, New York was the best time of my entire life (so there! it did get better from last summer)! I don't have an alarmingly large number of close friends, but those that I do have are some of the most phenomenal people I have ever encountered. It's just that I haven't achieved that comfort that I found over the last couple of years here.

When I became frustrated with my social life or the stupidity and immaturity of high schoolers, I could drive to grandmama's house five minutes away and gain a little perspective (high school is only temporary and if you're measuring your life against the prodigy stick figures running around Hockaday, you're warped) When I felt frustration with my family, I would drive to see a friend or take a dance class. When I didn't want to go out on the weekend, I could go to BonnieJean's or give Wortley a call. I found a life of alternatives so that I could always choose to be happy.

At Rhodes, I have my primaries. I have the people I most want to talk to always, a couple of locations I'd enjoy on the weekends, a couple of older people in Memphis for that perspective. But when these fail, I don't have a fallback. And that makes me feel lonely.

I know you're thinking I'm neurotic and crazy, and that's probably because I am. I overthink everything. (As BonnieJean ever-so-eloquently told me a couple of nights ago, Katie Beth you just overthink and overanlyze everything too [pardon-my-french] damn much. Just let it go! Ah...wise words...) And obviously at this point, this blog has turned into a more reflective than artistic thing. I'm sure it will go through its phases, but since it's no longer technically a CODA blog (at least for the summer) I'm going to continue my musings and ramblings.

Here's a brief update on what I've been up to.

1. Ben Folds didn't play at Memphis in May. If you couldn't tell, I was so excited. As you can probably guess, I was crushed.
2. Summer started. Initally, no one was home. i'm not complaining. I ran around Dallas, job hunted, slept in, drank smoothies, and had the house to myself to catch up on TV. I've been rather dandy.
3. I've hung out with my family. I freaking love my family. I really, really do. Nothing beats chilling out with them. In fact, I just might have to go visit someone tomorrow. I'm already in withdrawal...
4. I've re-encountered the Cabo crew (minus Kavitha who is still in NYC) and Kim and Kevin and Caroline. This has been the most welcome reunion ever. Caroline and I met at coffeehouse (even though we never actually went inside) and chatted with Mr. Long and random highschoolers who happened to pass through. Her philosophy of college is probably healthier than mine (well, is it?) if you can't beat 'em, join 'em. She has fully engrossed herself in the college/sorority girl lifestyle (even though she isn't Greek...you catch my drift) And she's happy it seems. When we started talking, however, she noted that even our brief conversation was so different from those at college. We weren't talking only about boys, promiscuous encounters, frat parties, things that go on at frat parties, and illegal substances. We talked about lives, each other, goofy/quirky things that were entirely irrelevant but absolutely wonderful. We both decided that our IQ's have dropped in college and we miss talking about intelligent things on the weekends.

Kim is great. Regardless of how different we are in our lives or whatever barriers we have in experiences, we pick up exactly where we left off. There isn't a need to see each other all the time but we also don't have to schedule out when we'll hang out. It's just understood that every couple of days our errands or lives will collide and we'll continue where we left it a couple of days before. I love that. When you come back, you realize who your real friends are. They're the kids you only have to "catch up with" for a day or two and then go back to normal. Not the ones that you run out of convesration with after you tell them what you've done without them.

Cabo girls are wonderful. Bayla is beautiful and fabulous as ever. I missed her ridiculous comments, mischievous eyebrows, and goofy little gesticulations (no, Bayla, if you're reading thisthat does NOT mean bodily functions...) Allie seems much more content at UNC and Katherine seems to have done wonderfully. Kevin's like Kim--wonderfully comfortable and safe. I love all of them.

Fantastically enough, Laura came down for a bit. We stayed with her grandmother in the Four Seasons hotel (Ha!) and then shopped at Neimans for a good three or four hours the next day. (No worries, the rest of the trip wasn't this fabulous) but her Grandmother, lovingly nicknamed 'Grandmother Beautiful' was really something. Besides her occasional inappropriate everyone's-a-little-bit-racist comments ("You know Vera Wang's oriental, so she doesn't make sizes for big people...") which were more endearing than anything else, we had a splendid time. It was so funny to see my two worlds collide between Laura and the rest of my friends. One of the reasons I feel we get along so nicely is that she really fits in. She has so many different qualities that mesh with theirs but then others that are totally different. Anyway, as far as I can tell they all got along really well. We went to the arboretum, Mockingbird Station, West Village, Northpark, Cafe Brazil, Legal Grounds, my house, my grandmothers, a brief trip through HP, to Allie's, through the Arts District, the Meyerson, DSM at Fair park, Hockaday, and BonnieJeans. (We were just a teensy bit busy.) BonnieJean's was probably the highlight. Despite the fact that I was so nervous that we were late (which we were) we had a wonderful time. BonnieJean told us all the delightfully sordid details of her adventures and we both had a chance to tell her a bit about our lives. BonnieJean has spent a bit of time searching for a man, but I think she should just give up. You see, she has found her true love in Laura McLain, fellow Kappa Delta, avid music-listener and soprano sparrow (if you will.) Those two played and sang for a good two hours (and it was hysterical.)

Anyway, the summer has really gotten off to a great start. (oh, and I've seen"Priceless" with Audrey Tautou which was great and "And Then She Left Me" which was even better) Tomorrow I'm job hunting (again) and sorting out various bits of my life.

Cheerio, friends. Comment away if you wish! (And you creepers who read the blog but don't comment, stop it! Just post an anonymous comment! You know who you are...)

Officially My New Favorite Video Ever:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z8jW2qHnqrI

I am freaking out.

8 hours.

PS if you have time...

Watch this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f2qTgito36o&feature=related

Seriously, how can he think of this stuff?

My life will be complete tomorrow.

Tomorrow
I am seeing
Ben
Folds.

I cannot express my excitement. Memphis in May music fest begins tomorrow and I can barely keep my mind off of it. Yes, I'm writing a search paper right now. Yes, I am finishing all homework and tying up the ends of all my second semester classes (which, by the way, how on earth did my freshman year already go by??) but I am doing it while listening to Ben Folds. He is my true love.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X-xO4cmnuzU

September 8, 2008, I'm seeing Ben Folds with Nashville Symphony Orchestra and it will be glorious.

Ben Folds+Glorious Orchestrations=Heaven.

Tomorrow! Happiness! See you all later!