Bonjour, Monsieur Soleil!!

Summer has arrived.

Hence the return of blogging neglect.

Hence the return of happiness, sunshine, musical theatre, and the comfort of old friends.

I was more or less content at Rhodes by the end of spring semester, but had deluded myself into thinking that I was happier there than I was at home. I was wrong.

That isn't to say that I didn't make incredible friends at Rhodes and haven't had a splendid time. There have been easily as many wonderful times as bad ones, but anyone who knows me also knows that I'm a highly critical human being and for me to say that I am "happy" is pretty miraculous. In Dallas, I am happy. Something I should also recognize, however, is that in high school I wasn't always happy. I like to sugarcoat the hockadays; trust me, it was anything but an easy ride. Nonetheless, the last two years were pretty incredible and last summer I literally had the time of my life. So, freshman year had a lot to live up to. I'd just had an amazing summer, life had gotten progressively better from junior year upwards, and everyone said that college was EVEN BETTER.

Due to the lack of a car, shock of the college social life (particularly at Rhodes), frustration with the arts, emphasis of the Greek system, and return to a feeling of confinement in a bubble [my friends keep talking about their best friends from college being from Croatia, Argentina, and Japan, and I really begin to miss the diversity I had in high school...], that euphoria of summer began to slip away. I had a good year and incredible opportunities. I went to Dallas, Chicago, and New York. As I've mentioned two hundred times before, New York was the best time of my entire life (so there! it did get better from last summer)! I don't have an alarmingly large number of close friends, but those that I do have are some of the most phenomenal people I have ever encountered. It's just that I haven't achieved that comfort that I found over the last couple of years here.

When I became frustrated with my social life or the stupidity and immaturity of high schoolers, I could drive to grandmama's house five minutes away and gain a little perspective (high school is only temporary and if you're measuring your life against the prodigy stick figures running around Hockaday, you're warped) When I felt frustration with my family, I would drive to see a friend or take a dance class. When I didn't want to go out on the weekend, I could go to BonnieJean's or give Wortley a call. I found a life of alternatives so that I could always choose to be happy.

At Rhodes, I have my primaries. I have the people I most want to talk to always, a couple of locations I'd enjoy on the weekends, a couple of older people in Memphis for that perspective. But when these fail, I don't have a fallback. And that makes me feel lonely.

I know you're thinking I'm neurotic and crazy, and that's probably because I am. I overthink everything. (As BonnieJean ever-so-eloquently told me a couple of nights ago, Katie Beth you just overthink and overanlyze everything too [pardon-my-french] damn much. Just let it go! Ah...wise words...) And obviously at this point, this blog has turned into a more reflective than artistic thing. I'm sure it will go through its phases, but since it's no longer technically a CODA blog (at least for the summer) I'm going to continue my musings and ramblings.

Here's a brief update on what I've been up to.

1. Ben Folds didn't play at Memphis in May. If you couldn't tell, I was so excited. As you can probably guess, I was crushed.
2. Summer started. Initally, no one was home. i'm not complaining. I ran around Dallas, job hunted, slept in, drank smoothies, and had the house to myself to catch up on TV. I've been rather dandy.
3. I've hung out with my family. I freaking love my family. I really, really do. Nothing beats chilling out with them. In fact, I just might have to go visit someone tomorrow. I'm already in withdrawal...
4. I've re-encountered the Cabo crew (minus Kavitha who is still in NYC) and Kim and Kevin and Caroline. This has been the most welcome reunion ever. Caroline and I met at coffeehouse (even though we never actually went inside) and chatted with Mr. Long and random highschoolers who happened to pass through. Her philosophy of college is probably healthier than mine (well, is it?) if you can't beat 'em, join 'em. She has fully engrossed herself in the college/sorority girl lifestyle (even though she isn't Greek...you catch my drift) And she's happy it seems. When we started talking, however, she noted that even our brief conversation was so different from those at college. We weren't talking only about boys, promiscuous encounters, frat parties, things that go on at frat parties, and illegal substances. We talked about lives, each other, goofy/quirky things that were entirely irrelevant but absolutely wonderful. We both decided that our IQ's have dropped in college and we miss talking about intelligent things on the weekends.

Kim is great. Regardless of how different we are in our lives or whatever barriers we have in experiences, we pick up exactly where we left off. There isn't a need to see each other all the time but we also don't have to schedule out when we'll hang out. It's just understood that every couple of days our errands or lives will collide and we'll continue where we left it a couple of days before. I love that. When you come back, you realize who your real friends are. They're the kids you only have to "catch up with" for a day or two and then go back to normal. Not the ones that you run out of convesration with after you tell them what you've done without them.

Cabo girls are wonderful. Bayla is beautiful and fabulous as ever. I missed her ridiculous comments, mischievous eyebrows, and goofy little gesticulations (no, Bayla, if you're reading thisthat does NOT mean bodily functions...) Allie seems much more content at UNC and Katherine seems to have done wonderfully. Kevin's like Kim--wonderfully comfortable and safe. I love all of them.

Fantastically enough, Laura came down for a bit. We stayed with her grandmother in the Four Seasons hotel (Ha!) and then shopped at Neimans for a good three or four hours the next day. (No worries, the rest of the trip wasn't this fabulous) but her Grandmother, lovingly nicknamed 'Grandmother Beautiful' was really something. Besides her occasional inappropriate everyone's-a-little-bit-racist comments ("You know Vera Wang's oriental, so she doesn't make sizes for big people...") which were more endearing than anything else, we had a splendid time. It was so funny to see my two worlds collide between Laura and the rest of my friends. One of the reasons I feel we get along so nicely is that she really fits in. She has so many different qualities that mesh with theirs but then others that are totally different. Anyway, as far as I can tell they all got along really well. We went to the arboretum, Mockingbird Station, West Village, Northpark, Cafe Brazil, Legal Grounds, my house, my grandmothers, a brief trip through HP, to Allie's, through the Arts District, the Meyerson, DSM at Fair park, Hockaday, and BonnieJeans. (We were just a teensy bit busy.) BonnieJean's was probably the highlight. Despite the fact that I was so nervous that we were late (which we were) we had a wonderful time. BonnieJean told us all the delightfully sordid details of her adventures and we both had a chance to tell her a bit about our lives. BonnieJean has spent a bit of time searching for a man, but I think she should just give up. You see, she has found her true love in Laura McLain, fellow Kappa Delta, avid music-listener and soprano sparrow (if you will.) Those two played and sang for a good two hours (and it was hysterical.)

Anyway, the summer has really gotten off to a great start. (oh, and I've seen"Priceless" with Audrey Tautou which was great and "And Then She Left Me" which was even better) Tomorrow I'm job hunting (again) and sorting out various bits of my life.

Cheerio, friends. Comment away if you wish! (And you creepers who read the blog but don't comment, stop it! Just post an anonymous comment! You know who you are...)