Untethered

I'm feeling a bit blue.  Or lost.  Or something.

Maybe it's the weather, and maybe it's because this is my last week of school (ever), and maybe because my alarm literally didn't go off this morning and it cost me 20 points of my overall grade in a class, but I'm feeling straight up lackluster.

I also feel like I really haven't learned much since I've been in college.  I'd like to be snarky and over-it and too-cool-for-school (literally) and say that I just didn't try...but the sad truth is that I felt like I didn't need to.

At times, I absolutely appreciated this.  After all, I've had multiple outside jobs 3 out of 4 years of college.  Furthermore, I have learned a ton outside of school--and in the meantime a whole heck of a lot about managing seemingly multiple lives.  I just wish I had felt intellectually challenged and stimulated in more than one class.

Maybe I'm just being lazy.  Maybe college is singularly about self-education.  Should I have read more?  Should I have plummeted into debt to spend another year taking different kinds of classes?  Gone into further debt to study abroad?  What am I missing?

I have a week left; if you guys tell me what I've done wrong or what I've been missing, I'll remedy it as best as I can as quickly as possible.

It's not like my life education is over.  I'm sure, in fact, that this is where it's supposed to begin.  In reflecting over my college career, though, I just feel a little bit...apathetic, lackadaisical.

Hockaday was a constant uphill climb.  English classes, particularly, shredded me to bits and reassembled me in a much more cohesive and solid writer. I miss that.

I crave learning.  I have an unearthly fear of failing (which has always been my demise) but I really want to learn.  I feel like I have learned copious amounts over the past four years--but relatively little from actual classes.  Is that what college is supposed to be?

Advice, please. Sage words.  All appreciated.