Coping

"There are many Beths in the world, shy and quiet, sitting in corners till needed, and living for others so cheerfully that no one sees the sacrifices till the little cricket on the hearth stops chirping, and the sweet, sunshiny presence vanishes, leaving silence and shadow behind."

I can feel myself aging.  It's silly sounding, but I am so painfully aware of my becoming an adult very rapidly, and it is terrifying.  I've dealt with what may be deemed more adult matters at a very young age--and understood that in some regards I matured more quickly than most children.  I have a very bright spirit.  I am incredibly enthusiastic by nature.  I will never stop being passionate, but I fee like my enthusiasm occasionally wanes.  My heart feels bruised right now and it does not know how to send out the light it normally has.  Small things upset me and I am having trouble becoming excited about things that usually brighten my day.  I always feel like and identify with Jo March, but I especially do now.  I yearn to travel and write great books.  I crave adventure and drama.  But I love my family more than anything and seeing one of them is pain is more than I can bear.

I don't know how to cope or find comfort, except in the solace of family and friends.  I have a lot of friends, but I need the ones I've adopted as family particularly right now.  I don't know how to make this okay.