There's so much in my head right now I fear it might explode. This probably won't be a particularly fun post to read...mostly just a strand of thoughts from my head (that is overpopulated with information, opinions, fears, guilt, confusion, and dreams on a Manhattan-like scale.)
Here's what's new:
1. Dirty Rotten Scoundrels started. It is heavenly bliss every single night. I love the score, I love the production team, and I love the people. These are good people. Good hearts, great talent. They are keeping me more than sane. I forgot what it was like to be in a show...or to have a reassurance that this is what I'm supposed to be doing. In all honesty, this isn't really reassuring that this is what I'm supposed to be doing; I feel like I'm the least talented person in the show (there's a good chance this isn't me just being self-deprecating.) However, I haven't been as happy as I am in rehearsal in ages and that reassures me that all the drama to procure this show was entirely worthwhile. Musical theatre is real theatre. Dallas theatre is real theatre. Is it always good in either case? Nope. But SMU theatre isn't always good theatre either so everyone just needs to chill out and try being supportive. Mazeltov!
2. My toshiba (I have another not-so-friendly name for it...but we're not going to go there) from Hockaday that's 6 years old officially pooped out on me this weekend. As in...it won't turn on anymore. It's okay. I have a magical tiny wonder called an eeePC that is a VERY basic netbook but functions beautifully for school. I'm still going to need something for movies/music/etc, but we'll deal with that later (and when I have more funds...ha!)
3. Money is ever frustrating. But I'm in college without a job (YES my theatre jobs count but they don't pay for too much more than the amount I spend on gas getting to rehearsal) so what can you do?
4. I'm working at Dallas Children's Theater this summer. I am so excited! Bliss! I might also try to help out at DBC or St. John's...looking into it.
5. Next NYC excursion? Last week in July, baby! And this time, I'm bringing the spacepod (my soulmates.) Can't ask for a better birthday present than that!!
6. General grief shenangians are still sucking my soul. And it is still a rollercoaster. Whoever said things would even out neglected to mention that it would take a long, long time for that to happen. There are still mornings I don't want to get out of bed. There are still times in class where I just start getting teary for no apparent reason. I still lack motivation for everyday tasks. I figure these things will pass, but I also know now that it will be a long time before that happens. In the meantime, I'm proud of myself when I can just make it to class, do the work, and put one foot in front of the other.
7. Friends are shifting. I've sort of found my way (well, got a toe in) a group of people I flat out adore. These people are tolerant of incessant texting, lovers of all things artistic, and big dreamers. Also (and perhaps most importantly) I can't stop laughing around them. I am very, very lucky. I am so happy to have found them.
8. For those who were keeping up, I lost "best featured actress in a musical-equity" in the Column Awards for my showstopping performance as third Dog from the left in The King and I. I was tragically crushed, but I'll somehow move on. (Dripping with sarcasm here, guys.)
9. Thank you for reading this. It's not always fun and it's certainly not always inspiring! Thanks for letting me get some of the thoughts out.
Farewell all!
1 comment:
What is "real theatre," anyway?
If it moves one person, it's real. If it makes one person think, it's real. If it shines some light on the world for one person, it's real.
And, as Einstein said, "true art is characterized by an irresistible urge in the creative artist." If you act from that irresistible urge, and stay true to it, it is real. Art doesn't discriminate based on location, money, size of audience. It is what it is and that's what makes it beautiful.
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